Plain Speaking Slogans

I commute, and as such I drive past a lot of tradies' utes, small company vans and larger company trucks. I see a lot of company names and slogans.


There are company names and slogans that befuddle me. I can't understand what they do. Some of these have sort of half-descriptive names, reminiscent of  Kruger Industrial Smoothing.

Such as: Supply Chain Solutions. Goodness knows what that company does.

There are others that sound interesting but are still a bit cryptic, like China Shipping.



But there are others that make it really plain, and I love these.


I'm usually driving, so I can't take photos of trucks normally, much as I'd love to illustrate these ones all here.  But maybe you have seen these ones around?


Uretek has trucks with a massive full-colour cartoon of a worker raising a concrete floor, and the large bold statement  We raise sunken concrete.

I am so pleased with these trucks, the giant picture and the plain speaking slogan, that I have made a solemn promise to myself that if ever I need concrete raised, I will definitely use this company. I don't care what it costs!



Zerella Fresh is a company I hadn't heard of before today, but this morning on the freeway I saw one of their trucks. On a clean, plain black and green background are the company name "Zerella Fresh" and its slogan: Potato, Carrot and Onion Specialists.

I find that refreshing - honest, simple and believable. I am absolutely sure you can depend on this company for all your potato, carrot and onion needs.



But the winner so far is this company: Australian MultiWall Bag Co.

Not so much for its name (less than descriptive if you're not au fait with paper bag lingo) but its fine, plain slogan:  Paper Sack Manufacturer.

Now there's a brand comfortable with its product and its advertising. May it live long and prosper.

Sunday Selections / Everyday Beauty: Winter blossoms

Well, I've finally remembered to post a Sunday Selections gallery!

This is a weekly meme started by Kim of FrogPondsRock but now hosted by River at Drifting Through Life.

The rules are very simple:-

1. post photos of your choice, old or new, under the Sunday Selections title

2. link back to River somewhere in your post

3. leave a comment on River's post and visit some of the others who have posted and commented

This week, I've been struck by the beauty of winter blossoms.

Cherry blossom trees: they look like a bunch of dead sticks 48 weeks of the year, but for those last week of winter leading into spring, they really pay their way.

This one is on our street:

These beautiful blossoms are at Belgrave in the Dandenongs:

As are these:

Spaghetti with love

When I met Y in Santorini many many years ago, he was working as a cook in a friend's restaurant. He used to make us pizza for lunch with feta, kaseri and cheddar cheese, oregano and spinach. In Thessaloniki he cooked us beautiful stews and soups and made wonderful salads - just as he does now. He always joked (but also meant it) that you had to put love in your cooking.

If I made a new dinner and it didn't turn out well, he would say, You forgot the love!

Tonight I'm making spaghetti bolognese, on request for M. 

We don't eat spag bol very often, because A hates mince meat. In fact she is not keen on red meat at all, and never has been. When we have spaghetti she has hers plain with oil and cheese, and will not even try a mouthful of meat sauce, though every time I give her a bit in a separate bowl and hope that one day she will.

M loves spaghetti bolognaise. 

Lately we've all been sick and M has been hit the hardest, with headaches and sick tummy coming and going. I kept her home one Monday, and then on the Tuesday after I did reading help in her class, I took her home with me again, just an hour into the school day.

We spent the day relaxing and chatting and she watched TV while I got on with some of the household admin that had lapsed while I'd been sick (do not leave an overdue electricity bill unattended for two weeks).

Since then she's been spending a lot of time in the sick bay and I know there's nothing really wrong; she is trying to get the school to call me to come and take her home. Her teacher confronted her gently and so did I, and last night she came clean and hugged me and cried and said she wanted to stay home with me again "just the two of us."

Over recent months A has had some iss-yoos, and we've been working through them and she's going well. But I always knew we ran the danger of neglecting our resilient, capable and confident M. She is so together and independent and mature that this is easily done. I am always mindful of it and I don't think we do neglect her at all - but I think she's been feeling a little squeezed out of the parental energy supply just lately.

Last night she asked me to make spaghetti bolognese, so tonight I am. We'll have it for dinner tomorrow.

You won't usually catch me cooking the night before Y's day off. His days off are my days off housework and cooking, yay!

But tonight I am cooking the best goddamn spaghetti bolognese I can make. I am cooking it slowly from fresh whole ingredients and minding it well as it simmers and reduces to just the right consistency and rich tomatoey goodness.

And it is FULL of love.

What we argue about

They say that couples argue most about money, children and housework, and that does sum up MOST of the arguments Y. and I have. But it does omit one category, and that is "important things that my husband forgets to put in the school bags or take to the school office on his day off."

I leave lunch boxes, drink bottles and school notices on the kitchen table, where Y and the girls will sit and eat breakfast (or will walk past on their way to before-school care). The lunchboxes are often sitting with the school jackets the kids put on before they walk out the door. Sometimes I put the school bags themselves on the table and the lunchboxes and drink bottles and school notices next to the bags. I put out the notices and non-lunch things the night before, and I say "PLEASE don't forget these," and he says "Okay". I get the lunches out of the fridge in the morning and put them on the table, and I wake him up and remind him again: "The lunches and drink bottles are on the table, PLEASE don't forget them," and he says "yeah yeah, go, go, you'll be late for work", and I say "but PLEASE don't forget them!" and he says "I won't forget. Go!"

I remind the kids the night before, and tell them the bags are their responsibility and they have to help Daddy by getting ready and checking their bags.

I used to put things directly IN the bags, but sometimes they need to note what's going in so they will know to take it out again, and also on Y's day off HE should be doing the preparing and worrying and lunch-making, so I am trying to get him doing at least PART of the task. He's made lunches himself a few times but it can still lead to the same result, which is:

I come home at dinner time to see forgotten lunches/drink bottles/notices/whatever on the kitchen table, and to be informed by the kids that the notice is overdue and we owe $6 to the school office for lunch money.

And I round on Y and say "Really? Really?!" and he says, "I know, I'm sorry" or "OK, so I forgot!"

And I say "HOW is that even possible? They are right there where you all eat breakfast!" and I say "Do I really have to get up half an hour earlier than I already do, and wake up everyone and put everything in the bags myself and show you all what's what?"

And the kids say "It's not his fault Mum!" and sometimes I say "It's OK", and sometimes I say "Yes it is!" and sometimes I say, "It's ALL of your faults!"

And the conversation often ends with my signature line, "Do I have to do EVERYTHING in this house?" which is an unfair line because I know that I don't, but it's satisfying and self-righteous and cathartic and it's my signature line.

It's too bad Y doesn't have a blog to complain about me. If he did he could probably talk about the number of times I set my alarm at 5.30 and then turn it off and get back into bed and wake him up every 20 minutes with the snooze alarm. Because I'm sure that is quite annoying.

But he doesn't.

     This scene is a dramatic re-enactment

Housework: the eternal battle

I absolutely loved this piece in The Guardian Comment Is Free today:
Housework: let's come clean about who does the chores by Barbara Ellen.

The gist: even though people are doing less housework than they used to, women are still doing more than men. (I know, you're shocked, right?)

First up, I liked that she makes no apologies for tackling what is so often derided as a middle-class or privileged women's issue, but straight-up calls the housework battleground "this incredibly important arena (equality in your home – where you live)". 

Ellen's main point: It's as unfair as it ever was, when women are doing more housework than men, no matter how many minutes or hours that is.

Housework is not about the amount of hours: it's about ratios and percentages – the true mathematics of domestic parity. Even self-described housewives should not be working nights and weekends if their partners aren't. 

What of "the future", when most chores will be done by robots and machines?  She is doubtful (as are we all), but:

Even if it does happen, it's obvious who'll be doing all the button-pressing. Even if we get that farcical two hours down to a preposterous two minutes, it's evident whose preposterous two minutes they'd be. 

Sing it, sister.

Pending Coffee

I just came across this and I think it is my new favourite thing:

I saw this meme and then googled it, and yep, it's real. See: http://raiseglobalservices.com/the-pending-coffee/

What a wonderful thing.

A Quick Happiness Test

OK, so we're all past that whole "seeking happiness" thing, right?

We know life is hard, the human condition includes suffering and despair, and our brains aren't interested in making us happy, only in ensuring we survive? And that life is difficult and absurd with fleeting moments of bliss?

Cool.

Even so, every now and then comes a reminder that, during times not marred by horrible circumstances, it is indeed possible to choose to be happy, or at least not to be miserable.

Professor Ed Diener is one of the founders of positive psychology and a leading researcher into happiness and well-being. He is profiled in The Age today in 'The Happy Medium' (Michael Short, The Zone).

It's not really news to read that "Happiness is caused by relationships, goals and habits –and not by lots of money", that "happy people are healthier", and that "one of the best ways to be happy is, paradoxically, to not worry too much about being happy, but to focus instead on a goal".

We generally already know that "happiness" (in the sense of contentment or fulfillment), is a combination of a positive outlook, good relationships, having a purpose or goal and/or skill, and acceptance of circumstances.

But even if most of that is fairly familiar to us now, what I liked about this article was the reminder that we can and should seek these things - even while we know, of course, that awful circumstances can and do prevent happiness, and life can be cruel and unfair. But for most of us, life is a combination of good times and bad, so we do have the ability to seek contentment in some form.

The other thing I liked was this quick test to measure how happy you are (in case you are not sure):


Quick happiness test suggested by Michael Short and Ed Diener:

It's this: ask yourself or someone else what are the top 10 things you like to do. Then ask when you last did those things. While there can be compelling reasons why we are not doing what we like - caring for someone, investing time in study or other intensive projects - it's often the case unhappiness is caused by neglecting to do these things.  Crucially, almost without exception those lists contain an overwhelming majority of pastimes that do not require money.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-happy-medium-20130721-2qcrg.html#ixzz2ZlwGJKg9

For example, if you were me your ten (or eleven) things might look something like this:

• walking
• reading
• writing
• art
• talking with my kids - especially ideas, theories, how people are, how life is, etc
• cartoons / humour
• family gatherings
• coffee/dinner with friends
• spending time with or watching animals
• sitting on grass
• looking at the sky / stars

I do about half of these often, and the rest quite rarely, though I used to do them often.

It's an interesting point.

Personally I think being "happy" comes from relationships, having enough money so that life is not constantly stressful, being busy without being overly stretched, doing a job you don't hate, and having enough room/time for some hobbies. Sometimes, with luck, we may even manage all those things at once.

There's not much else. We're animals seeking to live, accumulate resources, and if we want to, to procreate. Everything else is a bonus.

What do you think about the happiness test?

maen_cg/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I must confess... I'm trying something I don't know if I can do

I must confess... I am a bit poorly today. The family has been sick with this bronchial thing that has been sweeping Melbourne, and though I thought I had escaped it is now my turn.

I should be sleeping instead of blogging, so I must confess I am going to tap this out FAST and get into my bed.

For those who know me it's no secret I have long harbored writing ambitions. I must confess, those who know me have long stopped expecting me to do anything about it.

But a couple of months ago I started toying with a young adult novel, and I have written... half of a first chapter. I must confess I have become stuck, and am easily distracted reading writing tips and saving writing websites to my new writing folder in my browser favorites. I must confess I spend too much time 'researching' my central theme and plot points and too little time writing.

I must confess I follow writers on Twitter and try to glean wisdom from their tweets and websites, and I spend too much time trying to work out their age and incomes and free time relative to mine. I must confess I know full well no one else is swimming in money and free time and the only real difference between them and me is they are actually WRITING.

JulieJordanScott/Flickr

I could write if I had a river

However, I must confess I have AT LAST taken some small steps. I fired off a 25-word fiction story to a magazine (baby steps...) and have entered the Australian Writers' Centre Shortest Short Story Competition. You can too - it's here.

I also found inspiration from the Write On linky at BabyBaby, and have started two short stories based on her word prompts. Alas, they are not finished, so I haven't been able to link up anything. But one day...

So that's my confession. What about you? Go on - confess. 

The link is here:  I must confess...

I must confess

Best Jokes (including one NSFW)

My daughter is currently going through an interest in jokes and pranks, and our house has been hosting joke books from the school library over the last few weeks.

Most of the jokes are terrible, but some are quite funny (and terrible).

Such as:

Little Monster: "Mum, can I eat my fries with my fingers?"

Mummy Monster: "No, you should eat them separately!"

What do you need to know to be a lion tamer?

More than the lion.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

European.

European who?

European in the bathroom and I need to use it!

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Euripides.

Euripides who?

Euripides pants, Eumenides pants.

A guy walks into a diner and sees a horse behind the counter. The guy can't stop staring, which prompts the horse to ask, "What's wrong, you've never seen a horse serving coffee before?"

"It's not that," said the guy. "I just never thought the bear would sell this place."

And my personal favorite:

A man went to the vet to collect his his sick dog. The vet came in carrying the dog and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."

The man burst into tears. "Why?"

"Because he's too heavy."

Some of these needed some explaining to the kids, whose favorite joke at the moment is that childhood classic:

Why shouldn't you play Go Fish in the jungle?

Because it's full of cheetahs!

corny

Reading all these jokes reminded me of a couple of my favorites.


This one is on a Reddit thread What's the most intellectual joke you know?, and got quite a laugh at work. For those who work with (not in) IT:

A programmer's wife sent him to the shops with this instruction: "Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, bring back a dozen."   The man came home with 12 loaves of bread. 

This one I saw on TV from a comedian who I had never thought was funny, and I laughed out loud, and then couldn't stop laughing, for two days. Warning - it is RUDE:

A man goes to his doctor for a physical.  The doctor says, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."  The man says "Why?"  The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to give you a physical."

Sorry.


And finally, the piece de resistance: here is my favorite joke, my "go-to" joke (do you have one?) for when people ask you to tell a joke. This won me a hamper in a work competition a couple of years ago, and it was apparently voted somewhere some time (where I first read it), the funniest joke ever.

It is the funniest joke ever!

A city guy went to visit his farmer friend in the country.  His friend met him at the gate and said he still had some work to do, but suggested, "Why don't you take my gun and my dogs and go hunting?"  So the city guy took his friend's rifle and whistled for the dogs, and they set off.  Five minutes later he was back.  "That was great," he said.  "Do you have any more dogs?"

Got any good jokes? Share in the comments!

I must confess... I love your blog

Oooh, tricky. I've been looking for a linky I can get into for some time, since a couple of my favourite ones wound up, and have decided to try out this one.

The linky is "I Must Confess..." by Kirsty at My Home Truths, this week hosted by Rhianna at A Parenting Life.

But, I suppose fittingly enough for a confession theme, this week's topic is a bit difficult.

It's "blogs you love".

I like lots of blogs, but I can't list them all here. I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or have anyone whose blog I read think I don't like it.

(Fact: if I read or comment on your blog, I like it).


My blog reading and tracking is also a bit of a mess at the moment. Here are all the ways I am following blogs at the moment:

• updates on my Blogger dashboard
• blogs I've liked on Facebook
• blogs I've subscribed to by email
• blogs I catch up with via Twitter
• blogs I've followed on Bloglovin
• blogs I've linked to on Networked Blogs
• clicking on blogs listed in my sidebar
• clicking on blog shortcuts I've saved to my phone's home screen
• clicking on links I've saved to my browser favourites

So I'm a bit all over the place, and not all the blogs I follow/like are even listed on my sidebar.

I'm also not going to list ALL my favourite ones here - it would take too long. So here are just a few, that I tend to read most often.  In no particular order:

Cranky Old Man - Joe worked in finance and is cranky, so I relate to a lot of his thoughts. He is also prolific, posting every day and always good, funny, thoughtful stuff.

 You Learn Something New Every Day - I really like this premise (as it's true) and the way Emily has structured her blog, each post reminding us of this simple, pleasing fact.

My Unwelcome Stranger - Denis blogs about life seen through the lens of living with serious illness. As he is also a historian his blog is beautiful with memories, culture and history, as well as general observations. 

A Patchwork Life - Tracey does beautiful crafts and takes equally beautiful photos, making me realise for the hundredth time how crap I am at photography. She is also often parenting alone - like me!

 Adventures of a Middle Aged Matron - Anna writes about life as a vicar's wife and parent to teenagers and her writing is absolutely top-notch. Lovely blog.

 AMFYOYO - Meggsie's blog is simple, very well written, and great. She doesn't write as often as others, but every post is a gem. She's also honest in a real way, with complaints about her husband and kids that make you gasp, laugh and nod all at once. Great reading.

Also:

The Plastic Mancunian - makes me snort out loud. Read his latest on email.

Blurb From the Burbs - come back, Kath!

Princess Pandora - life from a (usually) different perspective to mine

Decoding the New Economy - the kind of economic analysis I love

And:

Blue Milk, Science of Mom, Caro and Co, Life in a Pink Fibro.... but really, I must stop.

What are YOUR favourite blogs? 

(Apart from this one, of course..!)

Link up to A Parenting Life here

The usual location of I Must Confess: