Minecraft Part 2: Getting Banned

Last week I wrote about Minecraft online gaming, known to non-parents as pvp (player vs player) - an arcane universe inhabited by ten-year-olds and their demonic alter-egos, where good times can turn to crap at the tap of a birchwood block.  

At some point in their recent Minecraft career, my kids discovered the shock and horror of being BANNED.

At this point you may want to refresh yourself with the PvP glossary presented in Minecraft Part 1.  

Being BANNED is worse than being KICKED. Being KICKED just means you've been kicked off the game (disconnected from the server), and you can get back in another time. Being BANNED means the Admin (owner/moderator) has BANNED you from the server, probably forever! (At least in most cases).

To cheer up my kid and out of curiosity, I googled "reasons for being banned in Minecraft" and the result is very funny. You can be banned for all sorts of reasons, from legitimate ones like griefing or trolling or killing other players, through minor infractions like speaking in all caps or asking for "OP" one too many times, to baffling ones that apparently involve saying or doing the wrong thing in front of the wrong Admin.

Most of the ones below came from this Minecraft forum thread.  They made me chuckle.

Some reasons for being banned from a Minecraft PvP server

Upsetting an Admin

For being impatient

For unintentional destruction

For following your architectural dreams

For not obeying the laws of gravity

For being too badass

Because you peaked

For solving a game challenge too quickly

For asking an annoying question too many times - like once

For possibly being a Brony

For saying Hi

For wanton destruction

For committing two horrible crimes at once:

For unrepentant warmongering

For being American

For annoying the French

For being called Dylan

For swearing

For hate crimes against art

For inverting a Minecraft element to reference a pop culture trope

As a result of a complex battle which ended with mutual respect

For killing everyone and taking their stuff - actually this ban sounds pretty legit:

For inadvertently playing against someone's political beliefs 

Just because

And perhaps saddest of all: FOR NO REASON

These cheered up my kids and gave me an entertaining evening's reading. 

But I still don't quite know how to play Minecraft.

galaxybackground.com Wallpaper 15

Minecraft Part 1: What the hell are you talking about, kids

I thought I was a very tech savvy parent and secretly felt pretty smug about my preparedness for my kids to gradually enter the fray of online life.  Then along came Minecraft.

I'll admit, gaming has been a bit of a black hole for me. What little I know about gaming I have gleaned from 9Gag and Gamergate (which, you know, both make gaming seem super awesome).

I am, however, a technophile and ambitious to know it all. I mean, I switched from an iPhone to a Samsung two years ago, so I'm like, pretty cutting edge.

Now that the kids have an Xbox, I fully intend to give up some Netflix time to learn how to steer the goddamn Need for Speed car down the middle of the highway instead of careening from barrier to barrier and getting stuck in reverse, and I am looking forward to trying a first-person shooter game to see how violent it makes me.

But commanding the Xbox controller is, like, hard. Why are kids immediately so dextrous at this stuff? I cannot get all my fingers plus my brain to work in unison. I cannot get my car or skateboarder to go more than a couple of metres without crashing. This is a good way to immediately feel like your own parents as your kids try and keep the laughter out of their voices while they show you how to use the technology. Karma.


Back to Minecraft...

The kids have long loved Minecraft and spend a borderline unhealthy amount of time glued to their screens building stuff and playing interactive games.  And here's where I (also) got caught napping. I had no idea you could play Minecraft online.

When my kids started having run-ins with online etiquette and trolling, they came to me with complaints and lengthy descriptions of online interactions I could barely understand. And I thought I knew about online interactions! I was a bit shocked and had to have some quick tutorials from my ten year olds on what the hell they were talking about.

Here's the deal: you can join servers run by other people and build stuff in their world, or play battles or racing games where you are playing against, and interacting with, other players. This whole world is subject to a whole lot of arcane rules and etiquette the kids pick up fairly quickly, but is also obviously subject to the whims of the people running it.

There are also the usual dispiriting online spats between friends where someone gives some people access to a game but not others, or kicks one person out for bad behaviour but lets their best friend behave worse, etc. There are days when this seems to be happening all the time and I have to tell the kids to take a break from it and do something else, and sometimes they even listen to me.

The thing with online play is that your kids can be sitting calmly in the lounge room tooling around on their iPod and you can be sitting a metre away, and a whole world of turmoil can be going on where they show no sign and you have no idea.

For me (and I'm trying not to sound smug here, as I know I don't have this solved) the answer is to try and be involved enough to understand what's going on and be interested in the games and the online world so they will talk to me, and we can talk about the problems as they come up.

There are millions of kids playing Minecraft. Most Minecraft players these days are probably under 13, but there are a lot of adults too.  My kids and I have talked a lot about this, what it means and what they need to keep in mind. We've had a couple of ugly moments, but for the most part, it's been fun and educational and the girls have been handing it well.

There are Minecraft glossaries and guides online you can Google if you want to know how redstone is used, or what a creeper or an Enderman is - this one is a good place to start - but they don't have the words my kids and their friends are using when they talk about interactive play.


Here are the Minecraft words I hear all the time and what they mean:

Minecraft online play words and meanings 

Seed - the code that Minecraft uses to generate terrain and content in worlds you create. There are online directories where people have shared good seeds or people pass them on through word of mouth. The reason these are valued is that without a good seed you have no idea where you will "spawn" to start your game: it could be awesome terrain, or it could be "a bland, uninspiring world full of flat grassland and the odd chicken" (that sounds familiar as that's what I got the one and only time I tried to play Minecraft on my own)

Server - any Minecraft player can set up a game on a Minecraft public server and others can join if they have the IP address of the server (which is passed around by word of mouth or found in the Minecraft public server directory)

Admin - person who runs the server, gives access to players and polices behaviour

OP - "give someone OP" - full access to all the available commands. The Admin as someone who is already OP gives OP status to other users. If you are given OP, it is generally bad form to give others OP without permission from the Admin.

Donate - Admins will sometimes ask players to donate money to the server, which is fair enough when it's a couple of dollars to help with the cost of an established game, but can be a bit rich if players are asked to donate as soon as they join, or if it's more than a couple of dollars, or if it's in return for getting a ban removed, etc.

PvP (player vs player) - term refers to interactive play with other online players, but my kids and their friends (in which case others they play with online as well) are using it as a noun to mean the server/game hosting the play, e.g. "I was on an awesome pvp yesterday but I updated my iPod and now I've lost it"

Grief (verb), Griefer (noun - person who griefs) - destroying things others have built, generally causing trouble in the game

Lag (verb) - perform moves that cause the game to lag - a major infraction that can get you banned. Eg flying.

Kick - to be "kicked" is to be kicked out. Not as bad as being banned because you can usually get back in, but it is done as a warning, or in a fit of pique

Ban - you can get banned for griefing, lagging, trolling, speaking in all caps, using annoying phrases like "lol" or "yolo" or... all sorts of things really! I will cover that in Minecraft Part 2...

Wallpaper image by dkjjr at Minebook

Great idea!

My daughter M has a cunning sort of cleverness about her that I am sure will serve her well in life. When she uses her powers for good, she comes up with some smart stuff.

Here are three of her recent ideas - two just from today - that I think are pretty good:

• Sweets van:  Like an ice-cream van but selling sweets, like lollies (candy) and cakes

• Digital devices (cell phones, tablets, etc) that are charged by the energy in your body

• A high-powered hot-air fan that dries and warms your body as soon as you step out of the shower

I told her today that she comes up with some pretty good ideas. She said, "Well, that's because I want a lot of things in my life that I don't have."

I guess all inventions come from wanting things that don't yet exist.  The more I think about it, the more I want the third one too.

Blowback: Mothers' Day

Blowback. Otherwise known as the law of unintended consequences. Always an eye-opener.

Last week was the occasion of that glorious annual institution, the school Mother's Day Stall.

A. announced she intended to spend her own money on me for her gift this year. "That's lovely, honey, but you don't have to do that," I said (stupidly). "I'll give you both $5 each to spend."

A asked, "Next year will you give us more pocket money and we pay for our own gifts?"

"Why yes," I said proudly, "That is indeed the plan, and is how pocket money should work. We'll start that next year."  (We've talked about it before, I just have to work out how much pocket money I'm going to give them, so they can manage it).

M did not even hesitate. "Well, if we do that, I'll just buy really really cheap presents."

Oh yeah. Obviously.

Our work continues.

Here, I've fixed it: Dear Future Husband

There is a song that is currently HUGE on the tween girl circuit that is so teeth-grindingly annoying to me that I was very glad to see Salon just called it out for being "the worst".

If you're not familiar with Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband", the real lyrics are here.

Now obviously, this is a light-hearted pop song, depicting a girl fantasizing about her ideal husband, a man she seems to know does not really exist. The 1950's sound make it an obvious retro-fantasy, and it's clearly not meant to be taken seriously ("Even if I was wrong / You know I'm never wrong / Why disagree?"). So obviously, I know this is just a fun silly song and not an actual guide to life.

But I still hate it!

I hate that whole "treat me like a lady" thing, and don't want my daughters to learn it.
I hate that whole "you better treat me right" thing, and that whole "you have to love me even when I'm batshit crazy" thing.
I hate that whole "if you treat me like a princess I'll have sex with you happily" crap that no one really means or can keep up in real life anyway.

So I've made the lyrics a bit better:

Dear Future Husband Partner

Dear future husband partner,

Here's a few things
You'll need to know I think will help us if you we wanna be
My one and Each other's only all my life our lives

Take me Let's go on a date
I We deserve it, babe
And don't But let's forget the flowers every anniversary
'Cause if you'll treat me right
I'll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need
We'll treat each other right
No one's the perfect wife

And we'll take turns
Buying groceries

Buy-buying groceries

You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me (hey)

You gotta know how I don't want you to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting But never tell me that I'm crazy
Tell me everything's Gaslighting's never alright

Dear future husband partner,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know I think will help us if you we wanna be
My one and Each other's only all my life our lives
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

After every fight
Just We'll both apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right we'll hold each other tight
Even if I No matter who was wrong 
You know I'm never wrong We won't stay mad for long 
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?

Dear future husband partner,Here's a few things
You'll need to know I think will help us if you we wanna be
My one and Each other's only all my life our lives (hey, baby)
Dear future husband partner,
Make time for me
Don't leave me lonely And I'll make time for you
And know we'll never see your family more than mine And we'll take turns to see our families all our lives 

I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed (hey)
Open doors for me and you might get some kisses if you go through them first, 
Or if I'm first through, I'll hold the door for you
Don't have a dirty mind 
at least not all the time
Just be a classy decent guy
You don't have to Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring, (babe)

You gotta know how I don't want you to treat me like a lady
Even when I'm acting But never tell me that I'm crazy
Tell me everything's Gaslighting's never alright

Dear future husband partner,
Here's a few things
You'll need to know I think will help us if you we wanna be
My one and Each other's only all my life our lives
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special loving
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

Future husband partner, better let's love me each other right


______

Not quite as catchy, I'll agree - but MUCH BETTER! 
Now to get my daughters singing along to this version...

Tomorrowland

When I was a kid my favorite ride at Disneyland was It's a Small World, but my favorite of the four lands was Tomorrowland.

Tomorrowland entrance 1967
Tom Simpson/Flickr CC

Tom Simpson/Flickr CC

ATIS547/Flickr CC

Loren Javler/Flickr CC

Loren Javler/Flickr CC

Space Mountain was awesome - and the first proper roller coaster I liked.

The Monorail was kind of cool, though I never really understood the grown-ups' enthusiasm for it.

The People Mover was fun, because it took you past (or through) all the other good stuff.

But my favourite ride in Tomorrowland was the Adventure Thru Inner Space.


I loved every minute of it - from sitting enveloped in the blue, egg-shaped chairs, to entering the dark tunnel and being "miniaturised", even the huge creepy eye "looking" at us through the telescope. For a kid steeped in afternoon reruns of The Twilight Zone, and who loved science and daydreaming, it was perfect.

ATIS547/Flickr CC

I loved waiting in line and seeing the riders go into the telescope and then come out tiny at the other end:

ATIS547/FlickrCC

Yes, on our first time there I asked my parents if those were the real people...

ATIS547/Flickr CC

Recently all this came back to me, suddenly, when I read an article about retrofuturism (you know the sort of thing: The Jetsons, houses under glass domes, meals in pill form, flying cars, etc). That shiny, happy, optimistic vision of the future reminded me of Tomorrowland.

My kids and I often talk about the future, as I started a kind of game with them about a year ago, where we imagine what cool things will exist in the future, and what their lives will be like. We talk about driver-less cars, working whatever hours you want, making meals at the touch of a button, flying to work with a jet-pack, things like that.  It's a lot of fun, and I do think kids should always be excited and optimistic about the future.  Kids these days can sometimes seem cynical and somewhat pessimistic, which may be a function of the times they're living through, or perhaps they always were. We do underestimate how canny kids are after all.

"The Future" by A 

I showed the kids the Corning video A Day Made of Glass on YouTube and they (and I) were in awe. We talked about how their houses in future would be like this, or at least partly like this, and I made no mention of the fact they'd probably have to be rich to have it, or that they might not ever be able to buy a house at all, or that even at best this vision of the future, like all others have ever been, is likely completely wrong.  We do also discuss whether some of these things - like flying cars - will ever really happen, or it they are too impractical, and to what degree we can or cannot imagine the future.

But mostly we just let our imaginations go and talk about what cool, awesome, labour saving inventions they will have when they are grown up.

Kids should see the future as a world of awesome and enriching possibility.

Things I hear when my kids are playing Minecraft

Things I hear when my kids are playing Minecraft:
Otherwise known as, Maybe I should be paying more attention to this?:

"How did you do that?"

"No, that's my house, you can't go in there!" 

"Let's kill some cows." 

"Can you make me one of those?" 

"Oh dang it, I lost my door." 

"Do you want a TV in your bedroom? How about torches?" 

"No, that's MY idea, you can't make the same!" 

"No don't go down there, oh my god oh my god ZOMBIES!" 

"Do you want to go hunting?" 

"Where are you?" 

"What world are you in?" 

"Are you in my house?!" 

"Mum, M went into my village and killed all my villagers, so I could live in any house I want. So I chose a beautiful house. But it's a bit boring now, I kind of miss the villagers."

Image: minecraftwallpapers.com

Retaining optimism in front of Pandora's box

When I was young, I was pretty optimistic.

Not so much when I was a kid - my parents will tell you I lay awake at night worrying about the plight of the elephants in Africa and whether I'd grow up to be poor (guess what, I did!!)

But in my twenties, I do remember I was pretty laid back, tended to look on the bright side, believed that people were good, found everything fascinating (that part I still have) and was confident that everything would turn out well.

I'm a person now who is more pessimistic, but I do still tend to think things will work out okay. Except when I am engulfed by panic that they won't.

I think one of the jobs you have as a parent is to try and instill an optimistic frame of mind in your kids. I say try, because of course life is hard and circumstances can be bleak. But I do think most parents try.

But in this digital, 24-hour, instant-access world, and in the face of war and strife all over the world, how do you retain optimism and instill it in your kids?

It often seems now that we know too much. We are no longer cushioned by parochialism or ignorance - Pandora's Box has been opened and all the awful information of the world is constantly in our heads.

How do you retain optimism in the face of that?

Now that my kids are eight and a half, I don't shelter them from the news as I used to. It's important they know about climate change, war, asylum seekers, poverty, corruption, ineptitude, hypocrisy and the like. Though perhaps not all at once.  In the last year or so we've had discussions about all these things, and the kids have heard more through school and friends, and often ask questions.

But lately, just in the last couple of months, I have found myself once more switching off the news when they're around, as I used to when they were younger.

The last couple of months have been horrifying: the loss of flight MH30, the shooting down of MH17, the ongoing atrocities in Iraq and Syria and fresh ones in Gaza. The pictures circulating on Twitter and Facebook are truly horrific. And that's not even to mention the depressing state of politics at home, and growing poverty everywhere. Or how about the surrogate baby abandoned by its parents in Thailand? (The baby is arguably in a much better place with his loving surrogate mother, but what about the impact on both children when they grow up and learn what happened?)

If only...
Taken from The Age, Sunday 3 August

I know, I know - bad things happen all the time, and people have always despaired at the state of the world. I truly don't know if we are in a Dark Age right now, if it seems that way because of the constant global information and because we know so much more, or if the state of the world is no better or worse than it ever was. I can't tell. No one can, it seems. But I know, anecdotally, through conversations, Facebook, Twitter and blogs, that plenty of people are finding it all quite overwhelming.

image encountered in Facebook and all over internet

I guess the way I try and do it is to limit the bad news to my kids when it seems there's been too much, and to focus on the good stuff in my conversations with them. Every now and then of course, a topic is truly bleak, and you can't shy away from that or pretend there's a "bright side". All you can do is talk it through, or minimise it if appropriate, and otherwise throw as much positive, good stuff at them as you can find.

How do you retain optimisim?