May 15, 2016

Men and Women are Completely Different

It is obvious that men and women are completely different.

For instance, women love dressing up and reading horoscopes, and men love drinking beer and watching sports. But there are many other ways that men and women are different, and all of them are scientific fact.

The below well-known examples prove that men and women are very different.

Women are better at multi-tasking

This has nothing at all to do with the fact that men are not expected to multi-task, or that there is actually no such thing as multi-tasking.

I have to admit my husband cannot remotely multi-task, as he stops washing dishes while he's talking so he can wave his hands around to punctuate his sentences, which drives me crazy and makes me blurt out, "keep working while you're talking!" and then he gets annoyed and stops talking, so then I get annoyed, but he does go back to doing the dishes and I keep folding laundry and it means I get to dominate the conversation because I can do both at once. But that's not because I'm a woman, it's because I'm not him.

I can't actually multi-task either, unless you count listening to podcasts while driving or scrolling through emails while people are trying to talk to me.

When it comes to sexual arousal, men are very visual, while women are more cerebral


Women take ages to get ready

This has nothing to do with the fact that women are judged on their appearance which is generally expected to include flattering clothing, flawless makeup, smooth, styled hair and accessories that complement the outfit. None of that takes time to pull together. No, it's clearly a fact that women just take ages to get ready!

Young women wear ridiculously inappropriate and non-functional clothing

Well, we all know this is true. There's nothing quite as ridiculous as a tipsy young woman holding her shoes in her hand, or shivering in a backless dress on a winter street, or trying to hold down a wind-whipped skirt on a blustery day. Hilarious!

Here is something that happened to me more than once as a young woman:

Group of young people: Let's go to a bar!
Young woman (thinking): I am a girl, so I will need to look attractive at this bar. My boyfriend will be pleased and turned on if his friends and others like the way I look. I will feel confident and in control and we will have good sex later. If I don't dress up, my boyfriend will steal glances at other girls who have dressed up, and I will feel regretful and pissed off and we will not have good sex later.  So, I will wear something sexy, with high heels. 
Young woman (also thinking): It will be warm inside the bar and I don't want to carry too much as I already have to carry a purse and keys that I can't put in my pockets because women's evening outfits aren't designed to have pockets. So I won't wear or carry a jacket.  
Young man: I am a dude, so I will wear jeans or pants, a shirt and comfortable shoes. I will look good and be comfortable! 
Much time later, outside the bar, early morning. Group of young people stand around and realise there is no available transport. 
Young men: No drama, it's only 2 k's, let's walk home! 
Young woman (thinking): Fuck you all.

And when you are older, you may still be subjected to things like this, apparently:

Men don't like makeup

For sure, men hate makeup. They keep saying so!

Or maybe, what men like is natural-looking makeup and light, matte lipstick. On a naturally beautiful face. Which still looks better with makeup.

Men, this woman is wearing a shit-ton of makeup


Men are better at 'compartmentalising' work and family

God knows how I also manage to do this every workday.  Luck, I guess?

Mothers are naturally more bonded to their children / Women are more emotional / Women centre their worlds around family

For ages, I believed this one. When it suits me, I still believe it. But, since more dads are now performing a primary carer role (or even just a sharing-the-burden carer role), I've seen more and more men displaying the kind of 'motherly' behaviour that involves intuiting when your child is unwell, preparing lunch boxes, knowing your children's shoe sizes, etc.

So this one might be true if you substitute 'primary carer' for 'mothers/women'. When men perform these roles, they tend to have this outlook too.

When boys fight there's no drama. They get over it fast. Girls backstab and hold grudges

When I visit my kids' school to see a teacher or the principal or do some form of admin or whatnot, I see the student welfare officer mediating a constant stream of bitchy catfights, friendship dramas and tears, accusations and peer-exclusion. The fact that half of these incidents involve boys and the other half involve girls clearly makes our school a bit exceptional, as this is obviously very girly behaviour.


In conclusion, it's obvious. Men and women are, clearly, fundamentally different.

May 7, 2016

How To Find Out About Anyone: Great Questions!

One of my favourite sites is Quora, where people pose questions and others post answers. It's a great different kind of social media, even if these days it is more overrun by marketers and promoters than it used to be (welcome to any social media platform, right?)

Tonight I was happily browsing my feed while procrastinating doing some work, and came across a set of really great 'meme' style questions, in response to a question that asked, "What 10 questions can tell you the most about a person?"

As of tonight, 11 people had responded with their lists of questions, but the best response to my mind was this one, from Barnard Law Collier, "anthropologist, journalist, writer, director":

"Dear Horatio," he begins,

"These 20 (ten is too few to be at all comprehensive) questions are meant to be asked of public figures and would-be or current politicians, but they work well with almost anybody. 
It's best to ask them without revealing them in advance. But even if the questions are known in advance, they are devilishly hard to "spin" even for the most slippery interviewee and her/his spin doctors. 
They have been tested extensively, and if they are all asked and their answers recorded IN FULL WITH ALL ASIDES AND REMARKS ON THE RECORD (make this stipulation crystal clear to the interviewee ahead of time: "Be careful, everything you say is on the record") results are often quite astonishing. 
Be sure to listen carefully and faithfully record all the asides; they are often priceless...."

The questions themselves are pretty great. They are different or deeper enough from the usual, that I can see some interesting responses - and asides - coming out of people's attempts to answer.

Perhaps one for a meme, Sunday Stealing?

What 10 (20) questions can tell you the most about a person?

Answers by Barnard Law Collier

Besides to your God, your family and your country and your constituents (if any), where do your loyalties lie?
In as much precise detail as you see fit, how does your mind work?
Have you ever been in love? If so, describe the experience.
If you were an animal, what animal would you be ~ other than human?
What did your father fail at?
Except for "nothing," what or whom do you hate?
In deadly peril, name three people you want in your foxhole with you?
Have you ever dealt a death penalty? If yes,please explain.
Describe your ability to dance.
What do you think your worst enemy really thinks about you?
On a scale of 0 to 250, where would you score your intelligence?
In eight words or less, please define intelligence.
What is the greatest weakness in your character?
How do you verify the truth of what you are told?
Name and define your favorite word.
Of the following, which gives you the most pleasure: a) Music; b) Money; c) Literature; d) Science; e) Spirituality; f) Golf; g) Food & Wine; h) Films.
Briefly describe your favourite hat.
Who is the best living lawyer that you know?
If you were made to live out the rest of your days as a famous fictional or non-fictional character, who would you select?

Source: Quora, 26 April 2016

What do you think - could you answer these?

The only ones I think I would be stuck on are 18 (whaaaat??) and 19 - though actually, for 19 I'd probably choose Julian Burnside.  But I don't know many lawyers.


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