May 15, 2016

Men and Women are Completely Different


It is obvious that men and women are completely different.

For instance, women love dressing up and reading horoscopes, and men love drinking beer and watching sports. But there are many other ways that men and women are different, and all of them are scientific fact.

The below well-known examples prove that men and women are very different.


Women are better at multi-tasking


This has nothing at all to do with the fact that men are not expected to multi-task, or that there is actually no such thing as multi-tasking.

I have to admit my husband cannot remotely multi-task, as he stops washing dishes while he's talking so he can wave his hands around to punctuate his sentences, which drives me crazy and makes me blurt out, "keep working while you're talking!" and then he gets annoyed and stops talking, so then I get annoyed, but he does go back to doing the dishes and I keep folding laundry and it means I get to dominate the conversation because I can do both at once. But that's not because I'm a woman, it's because I'm not him.

I can't actually multi-task either, unless you count listening to podcasts while driving or scrolling through emails while people are trying to talk to me.


When it comes to sexual arousal, men are very visual, while women are more cerebral


Sure.





Women take ages to get ready


This has nothing to do with the fact that women are judged on their appearance which is generally expected to include flattering clothing, flawless makeup, smooth, styled hair and accessories that complement the outfit. None of that takes time to pull together. No, it's clearly a fact that women just take ages to get ready!


Young women wear ridiculously inappropriate and non-functional clothing


Well, we all know this is true. There's nothing quite as ridiculous as a tipsy young woman holding her shoes in her hand, or shivering in a backless dress on a winter street, or trying to hold down a wind-whipped skirt on a blustery day. Hilarious!

Here is something that happened to me more than once as a young woman:

Group of young people: Let's go to a bar!
Young woman (thinking): I am a girl, so I will need to look attractive at this bar. My boyfriend will be pleased and turned on if his friends and others like the way I look. I will feel confident and in control and we will have good sex later. If I don't dress up, my boyfriend will steal glances at other girls who have dressed up, and I will feel regretful and pissed off and we will not have good sex later.  So, I will wear something sexy, with high heels. 
Young woman (also thinking): It will be warm inside the bar and I don't want to carry too much as I already have to carry a purse and keys that I can't put in my pockets because women's evening outfits aren't designed to have pockets. So I won't wear or carry a jacket.  
Young man: I am a dude, so I will wear jeans or pants, a shirt and comfortable shoes. I will look good and be comfortable! 
Much time later, outside the bar, early morning. Group of young people stand around and realise there is no available transport. 
Young men: No drama, it's only 2 k's, let's walk home! 
Young woman (thinking): Fuck you all.


And when you are older, you may still be subjected to things like this, apparently:



Men don't like makeup


For sure, men hate makeup. They keep saying so!

Or maybe, what men like is natural-looking makeup and light, matte lipstick. On a naturally beautiful face. Which still looks better with makeup.

Men, this woman is wearing a shit-ton of makeup


See?

Men are better at 'compartmentalising' work and family


God knows how I also manage to do this every workday.  Luck, I guess?


Mothers are naturally more bonded to their children / Women are more emotional / Women centre their worlds around family


For ages, I believed this one. When it suits me, I still believe it. But, since more dads are now performing a primary carer role (or even just a sharing-the-burden carer role), I've seen more and more men displaying the kind of 'motherly' behaviour that involves intuiting when your child is unwell, preparing lunch boxes, knowing your children's shoe sizes, etc.

So this one might be true if you substitute 'primary carer' for 'mothers/women'. When men perform these roles, they tend to have this outlook too.



When boys fight there's no drama. They get over it fast. Girls backstab and hold grudges


When I visit my kids' school to see a teacher or the principal or do some form of admin or whatnot, I see the student welfare officer mediating a constant stream of bitchy catfights, friendship dramas and tears, accusations and peer-exclusion. The fact that half of these incidents involve boys and the other half involve girls clearly makes our school a bit exceptional, as this is obviously very girly behaviour.



via GIPHY


In conclusion, it's obvious. Men and women are, clearly, fundamentally different.







11 comments:

  1. Hi Jackie,

    This is one of my favourite blog post topics and I have discussed it many times. Basically I just don't understand women - I never have done and I never will do. Nevertheless I am making headway, mainly because Mrs PM corrects me, explains things to me etc.

    If only I could read minds! Although its not one of my favourite films, I like the concept behind "What Women Want". I have no doubt that women watch it because it is ultimately a romcom. I watched it for research - and I am still puzzled!!

    Mind you, it had Helen Hunt in it - nice!!

    :o)

    Cheers

    PM

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    Replies
    1. Ha, yes, I actually do enjoy the kind of "women/men" blog posts you write as you do them very well! While I don't believe men and women are fundamentally very different, there is no doubt whatsoever that culture and society and expectations make us behave differently and make for some very amusing observations :)

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  2. What a fascinating post, just when I am trying to focus on Midsomer Murders. As a gay man I have little understanding of female sexuality, but then it seems quite a percentage of straight men don't either. As for makeup, more is better. Slap it on thickly sisters and never be seen in public without it. Seriously, applying flattering makeup well is a skill and if it does not come naturally then seek advice from your medical practitioner. Only a few men want their female companion to look like a tart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, you need to learn to apply makeup well - and to make it look like you're hardly wearing any. But also true, we all look better with it. I did see a man wearing foundation once and he looked good, but it was noticeable. I quite like a man with buffed manicured fingernails.

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    2. Actually many men like the Tart look...we just don't marry them.

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    3. Your not supposed to say that, Joeh! That's a secret! Jackie, can you delete the comment then go to a hypnotist to help you forget that you read it?

      :o)

      Cheers

      PM

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    4. Oh my god guys.... not helping here. 😂

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  3. Very funny post, I particularly liked the part of...wait a minute...men and women both...just a second...I do disagree about the not able to multitask stuff, that is...ah...something something...I forget, but still great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! At this very moment I am eating grapes, replying to this comment, thinking about work tomorrow and leaning on the school permission forms that I will fill in next, proving instantly that I am successful at multi-tasking. But unlike yourself, I am a woman so that is why I am able to do it. Obviously. :)

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  4. And Christians and atheists and Muslims are all completely different from each other too...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes - another fact! No wonder we can't get along. It's biology, obviously!

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