12 Resolutions: December (and November recap)

This year I'm playing along with #12Resolutions on Twitter and Facebook. The idea is to set yourself short-term, achievable goals, one each month. 

For November my goal was to tidy and clean the house, in preparation for the kids' ninth birthday party.  

Tick! It took a lot of work, but for a short, sweet time (two weeks) I had a thoroughly clean, tidy, decluttered and sweet-smelling house. 



Even a tidy front and back yard.



It's still not bad, but it is on its way back to normal, unfortunately. I don't have the effort or will to maintain the way it was forever. I tell myself I hold other things in higher importance to a tidy house. I tell myself kids and pets are messy and life is messy. But really, I just hate cleaning, and I am lazy. 

But the kids' party was a success, and I only gritted my teeth a couple of times (for a couple of kids - one not even invited - who push my buttons every time as they never say please or thank you, and their parents never get out of their car while dropping them off and picking them up).


We had a fairly traditional, low-key party, with cheap, homemade games (jelly bean blindfolded taste testing, dance statues, and the bloody mandatory Pass the Parcel). My prizes for the games were the cheapest $1 crap I could source, the lolly bags were filled with cheap toxic sweets and a couple of useless trinkets, and I only offered two drinks to all the kids: cheap fruit cocktail cordial poured from jugs, and water.  

For the grown-up guests I had a cheese-cracker-and-dip platter and some homemade spinach and cheese pies (fancy!), packets of homebrand potato chips, two bottles of soft drink, one $5 bottle of cleanskin wine and 6 bottles of light beer. I usually over-cater, but this year being on a tight budget forced me not to - and sure enough, there was still plenty of everything to go around. 

More surprisingly, I heard from both grown-ups and kids that it was a great party - not that it seemed so to me, but you can't really tell when you're in the thick of it, running round hosting, and are also a hybernating introvert not well-practiced in hosting anything.  

  

So anyway, on to December.

We're almost at the end, but my resolution for December was to have a well-organised, stress-free and on-budget Christmas.  This year for the first time my kids are not expecting Santa, so they have automatically lowered their gift haul expectations, which is advantageous (if a little sad!)  They are still going to do alright, but we are scaling down. 

Christmas this year is going to be pretty easy for us. My sister and her husband are hosting Christmas lunch, and for the evening we are going to my cousin's place. Hence, as I don't have to do anything more than bring a couple of platters and salads and some drinks, there is no reason for me to feel stressed at all.

Except you do, of course. It's a busy time of year with lots going on, and the expenses keep climbing as the day draws near. Chocolates for work, candy canes or tiny gifts for school friends (I hate that one), teacher gifts (suddenly there are a lot of teachers.... I went with boxes of chocolates this year for everyone), endless trips to Kmart and the supermarket as you remember something else... and meanwhile life's ongoing obligations and expenses continue.

So yes, it is stressful, and I am SO thankful I am not hosting Christmas in any way, and I am VERY grateful to my sister and cousin who are.

But the good news is, I am almost ready. Almost.

How are you managing the last days before Christmas?

#12Resolutions:

January: walk 5 times a week (achieved - I now walk daily)
February: write 2 short stories (failed - wrote none)
March: write 1 short story, and start Project Management course (done)
April: visit GP and complete or schedule the follow-ups (done)
May: complete one module of Project Management course (failed)
June: working day money savers: public transport and packed lunch (done)
July: pay attention to needs, moods and emotions to manage reactions (done, and ongoing)

August: limit time-wasting activities on my phone (done - and still going pretty well)

September: 15 mins floor exercises daily (nope)

October: get more sleep (yes)

November: tidy and clean house for December entertaining (done)

December: an organised, on-budget and stress-free Christmas!

I've unfollowed all the gurus

samarttiw/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I've unfollowed all the 'live your best life' and family / planning blogs I used to read.

I still like some of them. But I don't want their stuff on my Facebook / Twitter / blog feed anymore, and here's why:

They mostly don't resemble me.  While I admire anyone who is managing their life well, has changed their life or is energetic, achieving things, healthy, happy or what have you, I think of the people that run some of these blogs the same way I think of those motivational salesman of the eighties and nineties: admirable but basically of a certain personality type, once called "Type A", who is kind of wired that way.

Their lives are not mine. I'm not saying my life is more difficult or complex (it's not), but my life is my life, and the way I live it is basically working for me as is.

I've already found my methods. It's been trial and error, like everyone's life, and I'd never claim it's perfect, but through years of living it, I've found what works for me and my family, and the limitations of every method.

Their stuff doesn't work if you work full time in an office with a commute. All those slow-cooker recipes, housework schedules and the like, don't work if you work full time and don't work at home. I know these blog writers work hard, and they juggle as all of us do, but managing what you do before you "sit down to work" [in your house] is honestly very different from having to commute to work somewhere else, and do that every day.

I don't need relentless motivation and positivism. I'm not depressed (been there), and I'm motivated to get up and go every day by the need to keep my career going and keep a roof over my kids' heads. I get pleasure from the things I like and I keep active and interested in the world. That's all I need to keep going and achieve what I have to achieve.

Their stuff is repetitive. If you read any of these blogs for any length of time you'll tend to read the same intros, tips and pep talks over and over again. These blogs are designed so that anyone can pick them up at any time; the downside of that is they can irk you if you read them regularly.

We have a basic difference in life philosophy. I believe you can get nuggets of helpful information from just about anything you read. So these blogs can provide some good tips. But I also think life is messy and sometimes hard and you can't create a system that will keep you on top of it all the time.

I kind of resent what they do.  I'll admit it. There's something about running a blog about how to blog, or how to work or how to live, or how to manage family/home life, that seems like a bit of an easy out to me. I know that's irrational and unfair. Some of these people have really good blogs. But there are some I read which make me totally understand the existence of GOMI.

There's so much more interesting stuff out there to read. I read news, online magazines, blogs, tweets, fiction, you name it. I download podcasts and listen to them while I walk or while I lie in bed (but then I tend to fall asleep halfway through). There's so much to read, and so much to make you think and keep you busy, engaged and entertained. THAT'S where I prefer to direct my internet energy.

I prefer reading small blogs. Tiny ones in fact. I love reading the regular blogs I follow to read how people like me manage life, work, family and existential despair. Yes, that means you!

Do you read any of the 'big' blogs?

Do you follow any gurus?

What we argue about

They say that couples argue most about money, children and housework, and that does sum up MOST of the arguments Y. and I have. But it does omit one category, and that is "important things that my husband forgets to put in the school bags or take to the school office on his day off."

I leave lunch boxes, drink bottles and school notices on the kitchen table, where Y and the girls will sit and eat breakfast (or will walk past on their way to before-school care). The lunchboxes are often sitting with the school jackets the kids put on before they walk out the door. Sometimes I put the school bags themselves on the table and the lunchboxes and drink bottles and school notices next to the bags. I put out the notices and non-lunch things the night before, and I say "PLEASE don't forget these," and he says "Okay". I get the lunches out of the fridge in the morning and put them on the table, and I wake him up and remind him again: "The lunches and drink bottles are on the table, PLEASE don't forget them," and he says "yeah yeah, go, go, you'll be late for work", and I say "but PLEASE don't forget them!" and he says "I won't forget. Go!"

I remind the kids the night before, and tell them the bags are their responsibility and they have to help Daddy by getting ready and checking their bags.

I used to put things directly IN the bags, but sometimes they need to note what's going in so they will know to take it out again, and also on Y's day off HE should be doing the preparing and worrying and lunch-making, so I am trying to get him doing at least PART of the task. He's made lunches himself a few times but it can still lead to the same result, which is:

I come home at dinner time to see forgotten lunches/drink bottles/notices/whatever on the kitchen table, and to be informed by the kids that the notice is overdue and we owe $6 to the school office for lunch money.

And I round on Y and say "Really? Really?!" and he says, "I know, I'm sorry" or "OK, so I forgot!"

And I say "HOW is that even possible? They are right there where you all eat breakfast!" and I say "Do I really have to get up half an hour earlier than I already do, and wake up everyone and put everything in the bags myself and show you all what's what?"

And the kids say "It's not his fault Mum!" and sometimes I say "It's OK", and sometimes I say "Yes it is!" and sometimes I say, "It's ALL of your faults!"

And the conversation often ends with my signature line, "Do I have to do EVERYTHING in this house?" which is an unfair line because I know that I don't, but it's satisfying and self-righteous and cathartic and it's my signature line.

It's too bad Y doesn't have a blog to complain about me. If he did he could probably talk about the number of times I set my alarm at 5.30 and then turn it off and get back into bed and wake him up every 20 minutes with the snooze alarm. Because I'm sure that is quite annoying.

But he doesn't.

     This scene is a dramatic re-enactment

List Love

So while I'm on a (temporary) break from work, I have worked up quite the list of 'projects' for myself and the house. No, I am not one of those uber-career types who create project plans for personal projects, but like many, many women I am more than fond of a List.

I have an A4 spiral notebook on the go which is filled with my Lists.

As a List is completed it gets torn out and thrown away. Much as this pains me from a Personal Archiving perspective, it is most satisfactory from a Getting Things Done And Moving On perspective.

So I had multiple lists for the girls’ birthday party and Christmas, which are all now done – which is just as well really as those dates have long passed. I had separate lists for gift planning, invitations, Santa gifts, party food and games, Christmas food, and online shopping orders (for tracking).


Here are my current lists. Because I’m assuming you are intensely interested and have a spare hour for light reading!


House Jobs: To Do

I have helpfully written at the top “Do one per day”. I have not been doing one per day.

§  Sort linen cupboard (Surely I already did this 4 years ago?). Necessary because my heart sinks a little every time I have to put towels away and I am doing that currently by shoving them in hard and slamming the door shut, or leaving clean towels on top of the washing machine instead. Very boring job however and easy to put off.

§  Sort kitchen pantry. Similar to above.

§  Create a list of pantry and fridge staples and ensure these are always kept in stock

§  Sort kitchen appliance cupboard. Since Juanita Phillips suggested in A Pressure Cooker Saved My Life to get rid of all appliances you don’t use every week, I added this to my list. I am tempted to chuck the sandwich press, the food processor and the V-Slicer for starters. I’ve had all these for years and have not used the sandwich press for at least 10, and have never used the other two.

§  Clean out sideboard – crammed with old crappy appliances that don’t fit in the appliance cupboard

§  Clean mould from the back of the crockery cabinet. I know, this shouldn’t even be on a list, I should just do it!

§  Sort and clear out the big white cabinet in my kitchen which is basically filled with crap

§  New curtains for girls’ rooms. Something cheap and cheerful and functional to replace the broken tracks and fugly things hanging there now (dark blue in A’s room but old and tatty; brown and yellow teddy bear and building block motif in M’s room. Came with the house)

§  Wall hooks for girls’ rooms. I've been searching but can't find any good ones? I just want plain white wooden hooks, say 3 or 4 on a frame. Why is this hard?

§  Get carpets steam cleaned. Scheduled for next week, hooray!

§  Get house sprayed for ants and spiders. We haven’t had to do this the last 2 summers, but we have ants again now, so it’s time. Scheduled for next week, hooray!

§  Front yard: pull out the dead lavender and diseased standard roses, and replace with simple rockery shrubs and ground cover. I tried to make a start on this last week but underestimated how much work it will be. OUCH. No progress so far.

House Jobs: Done

§  Clean mould from A’s bedroom

§  Change the window fastener on A’s window (was on the list for far too long – we have not been able to open her window for 3 years. Possibly partly to blame for mould issue).

§  New letterbox. This was to replace our old, snail-infested crumbling timber box with the lockable metal letterbox we purchased from Bunnings 18 months ago. Am pleased to report that husband completed this task last week, along with the window fastener. (That also only took 2 years of asking!)

Administration Jobs: To Do
I have helpfully written at the top “Do one per day”. I have not been doing one per day.

§  Renew my passport

§  Get passports for the girls

§  Book tickets for Greece (FINALLY, after years of intending to and never being able to save the money, it looks like we will be able to do this this year)

§  Review health insurance (GROOOAAAN)

§  Review superannuation (DOUBLE GROOOAAAN)

§  Put in outstanding Medicare claims (every time I remember this one I am shocked I haven’t done it. There’s money I haven’t collected?!)

§  Back up all photos and documents (half done)

§  Export/back up blog posts

§  Do some photo albums (massive, MASSIVE task. Put it this way: my girls are six and the baby album is only half done. I have completed 3 other photo albums since then but the majority of our photos are in my computer or on a hard drive or some CDs)

Administration Jobs: Done

§  Book cheap summer break – DONE – we go to Rosebud for 4 days very soon. Can’t wait!

§  Sort recipe book, and come up with a small rotation of meals that the kids will eat – DONE – I think (they’re at their most fussy at the moment – dinners have become a bit of a NIGHTMARE).

Recipe Folder: before

Recipe Folder: After.
Good enough for me

I have compiled my dinner list, and cooked the first one last night: steak, peas and chips. What's not to love right? THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT. But I stood my ground: nothing else was offered. They also stood their ground: nothing else was eaten. Never mind, they'll grow to like it.

Blog Posts – to write or finish drafts

§  In Defense of George Papandreou (about timing and cycles during political change)

§  What to Wear to Work When It’s Hot

§   Suburbia Superbia  (why the suburbs are great)

§   Division of Labour (response to a great post in a blog I read recently)

§  Elevator Etiquette

§  100 for 100 (100 things about me, for 100^th blog post)

§  It Really IS The Economy, Stupid! (wide ranging and far reaching impacts of 2008 GFC)

§  Some Thoughts on Depression

§  The Soft Sciences and the Hard

§  You Are Not Fat: Advice to a Five Year Old Child (most of it is written – I am just finding it painful to deal with! I keep tearing up…)

So those are my current TO DO items.


As well as those I have my PROJECT or WISH LIST items, which are the things I would like to do if we had the money, and which I tell myself we are planning to do in future.



Wish List / Projects

§  Add an extension, which must comprise 2 more rooms with LOTS of cupboards, a proper laundry (to replace our current "Euro laundry" in the bathroom) and a second toilet. We are happy to give up half of our massive garage and the dead portion of backyard behind the garage to achieve this. I have no idea what it would cost and am afraid to find out.

§  Fix the rotting deck in the backyard (IDEALLY: rip out and replace with brand new decking and a new pergola cover. ACTUALLY: replace the worst rotted planks and posts and re-paint)

§  Get some gardeners to do a massive tidy-up of the front and back yards – it is beyond our expertise and psychological strength

§  Plant flowers and rockery shrubs everywhere, that are beautiful and hardy and require minimal work (ie none) to upkeep

§  Plant fruit trees – husband is very keen on this in particular. As he is Greek, they will go in the FRONT yard, natch

§   Replace rotting white picket fence with an iron railing fence (I love those) – something like this:

White tubular steel fence by InStyle Fencing

§  Get a screen door for the front door so we can leave the door open during the summer heat

§   Replace our two hand-me-down sofas with a new modular sofa in the loungeroom – something like this:

Modular sofa I like by Domayne. With kids
and a dog I don't want white, obviously

§  Get a cabinet maker to put in white floor to ceiling book shelves over two walls of our loungeroom, with cabinets for storage along the bottom and a space for the TV. Something like this - IN MY DREAMS:

Built-in library shelving
Image: Traditional Home via www.trianglehoneymoon.com

So those are my lists.

What about you? Do you use lists? What is on your to-do list now?