My Year in Tweets

Image: Tutzone.net

I don't really like it when people re-publish their favourite tweets on their blogs, but I can understand it. Because if you don't, all those beautiful, erudite, witty zingers just disappear forever, unless you're Charlie Sheen.

But Brendan Maclean did it, and he's cool and funny and stuff, so maybe it's OK.  Also, I have now been on Twitter for (almost) a year, so perhaps I should celebrate!

So here are my favourite tweets (of mine!) from my first year on Twitter. I think they show my outlook, beliefs and personality fairly well. Yes, today it's all about ME!

(Bloggers, narcissistic? Get outta here!)


5 Jan
I fear Jason Lee may not make another non-Chipmunk movie again.

14 December
I wonder what age I will finally stop getting a little bit depressed when the cafe waiter calls me "ma'am".

14 December
Yes I drive to work. And will continue until I move to a sustainable urban village where I can walk or bike to my well-paid local job!
[pet peeve alert!]

5 December
The loungeroom Michael Jackson tribute dance remains one of the great pleasures of family life #funwithkids #Betterthanthegym

20 November
Never ceases to amaze me how many experts and how often, discount the mother's knowledge of her own kids.
[pet peeve alert!]

13 November
Few things make you feel so virtuous as watching your kids eat cut up fruit for afternoon tea. #parenting #smug #MakesUpForNeenishTartsLunch

9 November
I know it's stupid & wrong, but the new Delites ad with the man in the dress just made me laugh out loud.

3 November
How can I love Jon Faine and yet he can shit me to tears at the same time?

31 October
Would I be a crazy person if I started carrying around loo paper so I don't have to deal with the horrible stuff in shopping centre toilets?

5 October
Damn that thing that makes me scan the Fin Review while waiting for my coffee when I really want to pick up Who Best and Worst Dressed...

20 September
My five-year-olds told me someone in class used 'the F word'. Turns out it was 'fat'. Banned words at school are 'stupid' and 'fat'. Good!

18 September
@miafreedman I expect & don't mind photoshopping to remove wrinkles, whiten teeth etc. But so wrong to change body shapes for diet stories!

13 September
Opaque tights where your legs don't feel a breeze + flippy skirt + windy morning = panic

7 September
I hated PE as a kid and swore I would never foist it on my kids. Now here we are at Active After School. O the betrayal!
7 September
One of my 5yo girls has not been enjoying playing soccer. Just told her sister "Tell my mum I'm not a soccer girl."

5 September
When a war starts losing support we tend to get stories about how cool & professional & important the special forces are

25 August
God, if the NBN will stop YouTube buffering and allow me to watch a single clip on my YEAR OLD laptop, then I am all for it.

18 August
Are there any other atheists out there who send their kids to religious instruction? I'm not alone surely?

12 August
Can't decide if the beauty of cherry blossoms in winter makes up for the bunch of dead sticks they look like the other 50 weeks of the year

30 July
I'm not making this up: man in toy store telling 4yo girl clutching a Barbie: "It's your choice but these are not toys that I value."

22 July
My 5yo got a save-water shower timer from school. Her thoughts: "When it's finished you turn it over and then you can have a longer shower."

18 July
I like Eva Cox on faith vs belief in supernatural - right on. Lack of belief in a god doesn't mean lack of faith/awe/wonder/humanity

17 July
One of my favourite parts of being a mum is when I manage to fix a broken toy #itsherotime

22 June
(on asylum seekers):

@msjrowe Well said, fate is right. People who grow up in good circumstances have no clue how much of it all is LUCK.

14 June
When you're at home on a work day you're allowed to eat Nutella with a spoon from the jar.

7 June
(good things about having to get up very early for work):
The quietness and the solitude! Less traffic. Seeing the sunrise. A coffee at the kitchen table before everyone else gets up.

29 May

Some law makes husband come home just as kids asleep, evening jobs done and I sit down to watch a DVD. I'm happy to see him but, you know...

2 April
Fun with kids: taught them today 'That's my name, don't wear it out'. Regretting it already but so funny.

16 March
Except for this sentence, the truth is never at the extremes.

13 March
My five-year-old this morning: "I love raisin toast. Can you please pick out the sultanas?"

8 March
Can I ask that corporates and marketers stop making anything aimed at women pink or floral? We should be well past that even if ironic #IWD


3 March
Some men at work are well-intentioned but confused so here's some help: you don't have to stand back to let me walk in the elevator first.

3 March
Red car on Monash: you have to THANK people who hang back to let you change lanes. Civilization depends on it.

3 March
My five-year-old when I dragged out the ironing board: "What's that Mummy?"

11 February
Agree organic veg taste better & probably best but we can't feed 6 billion people on market gardens. Organic elitism makes me uncomfortable.


10 Februrary
Yay for govt schools. Ours supposedly not a good one yet feels good, has good facilities and the principal rocks! So all good!
(That principal was fairly new - he was fantastic but left last year  :-(  All still good at this stage, fingers crossed...)


8 February
It is not advisable to blog, tweet and make bechemel sauce at the same time. In case anyone else is tempted.

Here are just a few of my recent favourites from other people:

A WELL-MEANING LIE IS A KIND OF TRUTH AND ON THAT NOTE YOU CAN BE ANYTHING IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) January 2, 2012

Like my parents before me, when my children grow up and point out my parenting mistakes, I'll just blame the decade. "It was the 2010's!"
— Kory Ford (@Kory_4d) January 6, 2012

My daughter is perfectly conventional. Loves horses, dresses, hairclips, dogs, footy, cricket, utes, dinosaurs, pirates & Lego.
— Nicola Castleman (@NicolaCastleman) December 27, 2011

Take. The. Antlers. Off. Your. Car.
— Brendan Maclean (@macleanbrendan) December 28, 2011

I can't believe I have to click buttons on like 5 completely different websites to buy my whole family Christmas gifts.Night.Mare.
— Jason Mayland (@JaymayAllDay) December 9, 2011

My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
— Van Renselar (@vanrenselar) November 29, 2011

Decisions are made when we're tired of thinking.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 9, 2011

Teacher asked, "Teddy, if you have $20 in one pocket and $60 in another pocket, what do you have?" Teddy answered, "Someone else’s pants!"
— Rich (nickname: Ted) (@TedInJest) August 23, 2011

The writing process. Start with an idea you love, then write, edit and polish until you hate it but everyone else likes it.
— Greg Barron (@gregorybarron) July 1, 2011

Best things about Twitter:

• instant information and breaking news
• conversations with interesting people
• links to interesting stories from all over the world and beyond your usual reading sources
• comedy - some very funny people post stuff that makes me laugh out loud often

Worst things about Twitter:

• The race to be "first" - sometimes those breaking news items are wrong...
• spats and feuds between people you follow.
• major time sucker-upper. Too damn fun!

One thing I think is that you don't really "get" Twitter until you jump in and start doing it. So give it a go! Get on there, start tweeting and start following. You can follow me at https://twitter.com/JackieK_ and I will follow you back (if you're a real person and not a spam bot).

Have fun!