May 24, 2014

I forget new names as soon as I'm told them

Do you do this? Or have you managed to beat it?

I STILL do it. My only hope is to quickly write the name down or jot it in my phone, otherwise it goes. But writing down someone's name as soon as you're introduced to them is weird and creepy; the only time you get away with it I think is mums-at-the-school-gate in an our-kids-are-friends-lets-organise-a-playdate situation. Even there I've stuffed up - there are a couple of lovely mums at school who I just simply cannot ask their names again as I've done it at least once (twice) already, and "oh god I'm sorry I'm SO bad at names!" is only charming once (twice).

I've tried repeating the person's name back, it still doesn't stick.  I have noticed others doing that trick of asking you a couple of questions soon after being introduced and always including your name in each question. It is oddly flattering even though you know they're doing it to remember your name. Perhaps it's the effort of trying to retain your name that is flattering?

Anyway it's something I'm pretty terrible at, and I need to find a way to improve.

I've drawn a little cartoon of how this feels for me.




You see? It's not my fault! (I wish I could blame birds).


Do you forget people's names? Have you learned any good tricks for NOT forgetting?

10 comments:

  1. OMG YES!! I think I concentrate on other things when I'm introduced and I never remember the name. The name repeat thing works, but I forget to do that most of the time. It helps getting old, people are less insulted.

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    1. Yep, that's me too, I know I'm not concentrating on the name properly when I'm being introduced, or I'm thinking 'okay, remember the name, remember the name, remember the name...'!

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  2. Snap. To the extent that for a long time I didn't know whether the neighbour on one side of me was Mark Johns or John Marks - and neither version was in the phone book. I am still hazy about his wife's name. And am not going to admit how long I have lived here.
    Remembering names is the social skill I most admire - and envy.
    And, to make a long comment worse. One of my brothers went for a job interview. The final question (which I would have failed) was 'What are the names of the interviewing panel?'. Titles/positions I could probably have managed. Names? Never.

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    Replies
    1. Sorry to chuckle but the story about your neighbor's name is pretty funny! I only know our neighbors' names because one of them visited us when we first moved in and told me everyone's names and I wrote them down in the front of my diary.
      That job interview question is just cruel! (I bet the interviewers found it pretty funny though. I wonder how many passed that test?)

      Delete
  3. I'm better at names now than I used to be. Once I realised the problem was mine, that I actually had hearing loss, I listened more carefully and concentrated on remembering. It doesn't always work, but I'm used to admitting now that I've forgotten someone's name and asking again. And again and again if I have to.

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    1. I can't blame hearing loss for my problem, but I do nearly always have to ask the person's name again. Sometimes more than once :(

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  4. Hi erm erm erm ,

    Yes - that happens to me all the time. I am so terrible that I sometimes forget my name.

    Ah - YOUR name is just above, JACKIE (see - I DO remember it :-) )

    Cheers

    Erm erm erm Dave (I think!).

    :-)

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    Replies
    1. Oh, hi....you!
      Yes, if only everyone we met carried around a blog or Facebook page with their name on it, we wouldn't have this problem...

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  5. Haha, that comic is golden! I used to be fine with remembering names, and couldn't understand what the problem was. Enter children and sleep deprivation, and now I'm useless. I just cop to it straight away though. Nothing worse than having people realise later.

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    1. Thanks Emily! Actually now that I think of it, I think I used to be ok at remembering names pre children too. Along with phone numbers, bank accounts and birthdays and the other things I can no longer remember.

      Delete

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