Whole Life LinkedIn

The very funny Kory Ford once tweeted that LinkedIn was "the awkward dork of the social media world."
That's as maybe, but it seems to be gaining some traction over the last year or so (i.e., since I have started actually using it??*).

So, what with all of us morphing from people and employees into social media brands these days, what if LinkedIn changed to reflect the entire person you are?

I'm not sure if this would make it less awkward dorky or more so, but it would be very handy for parents returning to work after a long absence, non-corporate types and... bloggers looking for a quick blog post topic...

For example, my current LinkedIn profile looks something like this:

__________________________________________________________________

SUMMARY

I have 12 years' experience in stockbroking operations with particular strengths in equity and options trade clearing, data and documentation management, and compliance. I am also good at managing and developing staff.

   [exciting, no??]

EXPERIENCE

[list of positions held]

LANGUAGES

Greek

SKILLS AND EXPERTISE

Most endorsed for:

Operations Management - Stockbroking Operations - Project Implementation - Documentation

JACKIE ALSO KNOWS ABOUT...

Data Management - Staff Management - Options - Electronic Trading - Equity Derivatives... etc etc etc

              __________________________________________________________________

But my Whole Life LinkedIn profile might look more like this:

____________________________________________________________________

SUMMARY

I have 12 years' experience in stockbroking.....(etc)

I have 7 years' experience parenting, managing mess and stress, juggling competing priorities, reducing goals and expectations, coping with adversity and coping with not coping. I am very good at compartmentalizing work and home life as men are supposed to be. 

LANGUAGES

Greek

Greek-English mix (including English words spoken in Greek accent while speaking Greek)

Swearing under breath

Child-safe exclamations (Golly! Jinkies! Goodness Gracious!)

Motherese 

SKILLS AND EXPERTISE

Most endorsed for:

Decision making

Undoing toy packaging

Geleez

Blingles

Play-Doh pizza

Merging onto freeways

Drawing pictures for kids 

Making up songs and rhymes

Plunger coffee

Smoothies and milkshakes

Recognising reflux

Making friends with dogs

JACKIE ALSO KNOWS ABOUT...

Quick and easy meals

The Disney canon

Laundry

New release non-fiction

Twitter

           ____________________________________________________________________

What would your Whole Life LinkedIn look like?

Image by Stuart Miles at freedigitalimages.net

*I'm a late adopter, so if I'm using it everyone's using it.

I Am Ready For All Of The Child Snack Emergencies

I am ready for ALL of the child snack emergencies.

Biscuits, crackers, pretzels, popcorn, cheese sticks, cheese-and-cracker packs, fruit roll-ups, actual fruit, Cup-a-Soup, bread, olives, carrots, tzatziki, Nutella, icy-poles, Tiny Teddies, Sakata paws, juice, cordial, Cruskits, sultanas aaaaand rice cakes.

Come at me, gremlins!

Aahhhh... *smiles in contentment*. Can you tell today was supermarket day?

New Year's Resolutions 2013

I don't usually make new year's resolutions, other than vague ones like "lose weight", "exercise more" or "stop being such a grumpy depressed knob". None of these were very successful in the past, so I stopped resolutions some years ago.

But this year I've decided I want to achieve some things.

In my expert opinion, there are three five reasons why most New Year's resolutions fail:

(1) They are too vague, or are wishes rather than goals -  e.g., "lose weight" 

(2) They are specific, but too hard or unrealistic - e.g., "exercise every day" 

(3) They are big, sweeping things about an aspect of our personality we'd like to change - and that ain't gonna happen. E.g., "Be more patient."  

(4) They set unrealistic expectations about how our minds and behavior work, aiming to do something every day which is really only supposed to be done sometimes. E.g., "Be grateful every day."  "Practice mindfulness." 

(5) They are what you think you should do but your heart's not really in it, or they're not what you truly think or want.

With that in mind, I am setting myself a few goals for this year. By the end of this year I will have either: (a) achieved them, (b) achieved some of them, or (c) deleted this blog post in embarrassment.



NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013:

Image by Ambro at freedigitalimages.net

• Stop buying cheap clothes without trying them on. They're not cheap if they're wrong.

• Move off anti-depressants. I've changed my life a bit and no longer have the stressors I had before. I'm ready.

• Be nicer to my husband (wow, can I do that and the previous one at the same time?!)

• I've already started this one: quit Ice Breaks. They are evil and delicious and needlessly sweet and fattening.

• Exercise every week. As a starter, get back on the treadmill if watching a DVD episode on the TV.

• Keep the house tidy, at least so's I can have people round without panicking or dying of shame.

• Iron the clothes that need ironing. Don't put off wearing them because I have to iron them.

• Get something published. Anything. Anywhere. Maybe the article I already have an interview and notes done for, might be a logical start. Or the site that rejected my one attempt due to subject matter but told me they liked my style and invited me to submit more [which I never did, natch]

• Get the roof and stumping checked out. If they need to be fixed, set a timeline and make a plan to do that. (I have a fear of the house slowly descending into a contender for 'Houses From Hell' through our general neglect).

• Visit my cousin K who lives on the other side of the city - which we first talked of doing like, six years ago.

• Visit my grandfather again in New South Wales.

• Find a way to manage my need to have the alone time I need to recharge each day, without going nuts at my family to get it.

Yes, that's a long list, but they're all kind of related. In fact it's possible they represent one of those big sweeping personality change resolutions that's doomed to fail ("Be more disciplined!"). Ah well. It's worth a shot.

Have you made any New Year's Resolutions?

Year's End, 2012

Another year, another questionnaire...

This one is copied from Kath at Blurb From The Burbs, with thanks.


1.What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Broke a bone.


2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make any last year. Will be making some this year (will post them separately).


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My sister had her beautiful second baby, a daughter, this month.


4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My aunt passed away earlier this year, which was a shock to us all. I still can't quite believe it.


5. What countries did you visit?
Greece.


6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
A laundry, but I won't have it in 2013 either.


7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
10 June - my aunt passed away. Two days before I travelled up to the NSW Central Coast with my dad to bring my grandfather down to see her, and we didn't make it back in time. It was a very difficult time.

18 June - we arrived in Greece and I broke my arm.

10 December - my niece was born.

25 December - Christmas - lovely this year.



8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Changing my job, working style and personal equilibrium (small part achievement, greater part luck).


9. What was your biggest failure?
Sorry to be boring, but failing to lose weight.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, I broke my arm. A bad spiral fracture in June that ended up needing surgery, and is still not fully healed.


11. What was the best thing you bought?
Time off, and tickets to Greece - both with my redundancy money.


12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I was very proud of A, who had a difficult year at school. Starting Grade 1 without any friends in her class, she was anxious and upset for much of the first half of the year, but gradually turned it around. I heard her a few times giving herself a pep talk or talking herself out of being sad or worried, and she learned to approach new people and join in their games. I was very, very proud of her.


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Mine - couple of times while my arm was broken I cried/got tantrumy in front of the kids.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage; financing a few months off work; overseas holiday.


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our trip to Greece. My first trip overseas in more than ten years, first time back in Greece since 2000, Y's first time back since 2003, and the girls' first overseas trip and first time meeting their Greek relatives. I was excited and very nervous/worried. But I needn't have worried, it was all wonderful.


16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
What else: Gangnam Style!


17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) Happier
(b) Fatter
(c) Poorer
What a funny correlation.


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worry


20. How will you spend New Year's Eve?
At home, in front of the TV or reading a book. Excellent!


21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Nah, I'm married!


22. What was your favourite TV program?
Homeland.


23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. Who hates?


24. What was the best book you read?
Traffic: Why we drive the way we do and what it says about us by Tom Vanderbilt. Fascinating.


25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele. Yep, I know I'm a year or so behind.


26. What did you want and get?
Part-time work!


27. What did you want and not get?
An extension and a spruced-up deck.


28. What was your favourite film of this year?
You know, I quite liked Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.


29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my actual birthday, home with Y and the kids. A few days later, dinner out with a couple of friends. Both lovely. I'm now 43. *sobs quietly*


30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Part-time work.


31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Expedient.


32. What kept you sane?
Part-time work.


33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Well, there was something about Damian Lewis in Homeland...


34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Syria. WTF.
Gay marriage. Just legalise it already.


35. Who did you miss?
My aunt. Even though we didn't see her often, I loved her and she was a big personality and I still can't believe she's gone.


36. Who was the best new person you met?
This one stumps me. I don't know. Did I not meet any new people all year? I guess it's possible.


37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Global roaming really is very, very expensive. Set your phone to wifi only when overseas. Learned this one the hard way...


38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I love that famous song about the woman who switches to part-time work, goes to Greece and breaks her arm, learns to relax and take things slower, wishes she had more money, and watches her kids grow into pre-tweens. What's it called again...?

Bento Box Dinners

This is a good variation on the picnic dinner for fun simple meals in a hurry.

After two weeks of eating tons of junk (birthdays, Christmas, tired parents), and M having suffered a bout of gastro, we needed some healthy and simple food.

Last night Y barbecued steak before heading out to work, and it was bloody delicious. It was tender, cooked just perfectly, and marinated in Y's standard (but effective) olive oil and salt. God damn, that was one beautiful steak.  Add some quickly chopped cucumber, spring onion, feta and tomato and that was my dinner sorted. (Well, I intended to chop the salad but I actually just sat at the bench and ate the steak on its own).

I was serving plain pasta, dry toast and grated apple for M, and wanted a simple meal for A. A is not a fan of most meat and eats very little of it, especially red meat. She has never liked steak.

But why make something extra when there was perfectly amazing and delicious cooked meat right there? I decided to try her on some steak.

Now, I know all about the idea that you shouldn't pander to kids to get them to eat healthy food, shouldn't get sucked into cutting food into fun shapes, etc. Before I had kids I too scoffed at things like dinosaur pasta.



But, for a bit of fun, and to make a healthy meal easy and enjoyable, I used some dinosaur pasta and served it all up in boxes. Why not?

I found two "bento boxes" in my chaotic plastics cupboard. One was a segmented melamine tray for serving nibbles, and one was a plastic lunchbox with a smaller plastic snack box inside.

On A's tray: dinosaur pasta, steak chopped up small, and grated apple.
In M's box: dinosaur pasta, dry toast cut up small, and grated apple.

They LOVED it. Not only did their poor ravaged little bodies crave and vacuum up the simple healthy food, but the boxes were a huge hit. Both girls loved the pasta, and both hoovered up everything in their little boxes and came back for more. And A ate all her steak!



Dinner tonight:

Crumbed fish fillets from the freezer, cooked in the oven.
Y made tomato, spring onion and cucumber salad.
I boiled up dino pasta and chopped up carrots, feta, extra tomato without salad dressing, and apple.

Everything went on the table. Y and I ate from shared plates of fish and salad, M ate her sliced tomato and A ate her feta, and the girls also ate from their "bento boxes":  cut up fish, dinosaur pasta, cut up raw carrot, and chopped apple.

Success and happiness, two nights in a row!

To All a Good Night

It seems a little pointless posting something right on Christmas Eve when I've not touched my computer or looked at my blog in three weeks. But I didn't want to let Christmas go by without a quick simple post wishing everyone a lovely Christmas.  Whatever you are doing, I hope it is joyful, or at least not too stressful, depressing, disappointing, lonely or sad (as Christmas can be).

I had pre-Christmas things I planned to write - jaunty, faux-stress complaints about shopping for presents, and the like - but then Newtown Connecticut happened, and nothing could be said.

Of course, we could say that anytime. There are atrocities happening daily in Syria, in every country, in houses in our suburbs.

What is the point?

I don't know. Or I think I do. The point is just to live, to go on as best we all can, bring up our children and nurture our relationships and families. Because we don't know how long we have them, and however long it is, is a gift and the meaning of life.


In the meantime, over the last few days and into the next few, I am taking my own advice:

Merry Christmas to you
x

Moderation, Truth and the Middle

What are the wisest and most useful words in the history of human thought?

"Moderation in all things"

- Terence, 2nd century BC 

Not only is this known by everyone to be absolutely true, many other philosophies and much of what we believe can also be summed up by this one.

It not only applies to the best way to live a life (not too much of anything, nor too little), but it can be applied to ways of thinking, and what to believe.

My own philosophy is:  

The truth is (almost) never at the extremes.

See? "almost never", not "never". Because never is an extreme. And sometimes, occasionally, an extreme position is the truth. But... not often.

Most people mistrust extremism of any kind - and rightly too.  Most of us tread a middle path, taking what we need or what seems true and uncomfortable with the bits on the edges.

It helps with critical thinking. When you read the latest statistics or PR from a lobby group in the news, or hear about some "new" theory from an "alternative" source, consider: how extreme is the position? Because those extreme positions are unlikely to be the truth.

Image by Kittisak via FreeDigitalImages.net

As boring as it may sound, the truth, and the best way of being, is usually somewhere in the middle of things.

Some everyday, modern day examples, from parenting:

• We all know we're spending too much time on the internet. We worry about our kids having too much "screen time", so why shouldn't we worry about ourselves? Those studies and books showing that Google has taught us new skills and Twitter means we're smarter are comforting and interesting, but our instincts that we should spend less time on social media and more time outside are completely correct

• I think most of us reject the currently oft-repeated advice "you can't give children/people too much praise". Of course you can. Overdo it and it's meaningless, we all know that.

• Similarly, "you can't over-feed a baby/toddler, they self-regulate." Most do, some don't.

• I find the advice commonly heard now that you must read to babies and tiny children every day ridiculous. ("must", "every day" and "from day one" being the extremisms here)

• I have no doubt that breast milk is the best way to feed a baby - all other things being equal. But in the real world all other things are not equal. I find the idea that every single woman's body will always produce perfect breast milk ridiculous. I find the idea that breast milk prevents obesity or raises IQ levels ridiculous. (Nature is not in the business of creating perfectly functioning individual creatures; in nature a species or system perpetuates - there is no guarantee that every individual baby will prosper under "natural" conditions. If there was why don't all animals survive?). 

• Natural childbirth is an admirable thing to want, but no one should feel bad about going the other way. Modern obstetrics are the reason why childbirth is no longer considered dangerous - as it was, throughout all of human history. 

• I like the philosophies behind attachment parenting, co-sleeping and "following your baby", and  I parented my babies this way to a degree. But I find the proponents of these ideas too extreme. I find their objections to controlled crying (as if leaving a baby to cry for 5 minutes is abandoning the child in a Romanian orphanage) ridiculous

• We don't believe in "hiding vegetables" - but sometimes we do. You know, kids need their veggies, and mostly they are not too keen on eating them. Some kids love some vegetables, some kids like them sometimes. If I think they haven't had their quota in a week, I have no problem hiding spinach in spaghetti sauce or zucchini in a cake.

• "Never ever lie to your children." Sure - as a guiding philosophy, that is right. It's what we aim for. But occasionally, you have to lie - or at least, tell a "white lie"

• I totally reject the idea that there is a Mummy War pitting "stay-at-home" mothers against "working" mothers. Most mummies these days do a bit of both, or one followed by the other. And "working" or "having a career" doesn't mean you are holding conference calls from the labour ward or having your children raised solely by nannies.  (At least I think it doesn't. My career has not been wildly successful so I cannot personally vouch). 

So that's my life (and maybe yours too?) in the middle.

Oh, and for those who believe in these things*, I'm a Libran. 

* I don't, but I'm a typical Libran anyway.

What about you - are you a "middle path" person? 
Or do you prefer life on the fringes? 

Head Lice!!!

Nooooooooo!!!!!

Photo by Gilles San Martin via Flickr

Well, we had a good run. The last time the girls had head lice was in daycare about 4 years ago.

They're baaaaack....!

There are head lice going around at school at the moment, and all the kids have been inspected. Mine were both cleared, and I've been checking their heads for the past week, and it looked like we were OK.

Then A started complaining of an itchy head, so I checked again. Nothing.

And again. Nothing.

And again last night.... ah.


A's reaction when I told her the reason for her itchy scalp:

Me fearing Y's reaction when I told him the next morning:

Could be my husband's life philosophy.

So this was 8.30pm last night.

Yes, that's right - Homeland time.
I MISSED HOMELAND!

I had no lice treatment at home, because we hadn't had lice in 4 years. I looked up The Internet for home remedies then smothered A's head in olive oil followed by yoghurt, knowing it was doing BUBKUS.

She rubbed yoghurt into my hair as my own head was feeling quite itchy by now.

We had showers, combed our hair and moved M's hairbrush into her bedroom away from ours.

M forbade either of us to cuddle or kiss her or get within a foot of her.


And today, A and I are home, with a bag of reassuringly chemical-filled lice shampoo and defense spray, and Grandma is coming round to keep us company.

Antonis Kanakis - just because.

Happy Monday!

The Things I Have To Do

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out. 

- Anton Chekhov  

I saw this great quotation via @qikipedia on Twitter this week.

Gosh, I thought, in all my middle-class, first-world exhaustion, That is so true.

There is so little time in life.  We know this because we all say it, from the time we either (a) get a serious job, or (b) have children or (c) grow out of our twenties. (Or at least my twenties, pre-HECS, pre-internet, were pretty free and wide open. Not sure if that's still the case for the young 'uns today).

I went back to work when my babies were 8 months old, initially 3 days a week, building up to 5. I worked full-time for the next 4 four years, and just recently cut down to 4 days.

That extra day is a marvel, and I am so, so grateful for it. I don't know how long I can "get away with it", because our finances are not great and you know, life is expensive. Especially when you're used to having the money from 5 days' work in your bank account, but anyway, that's my failing and I'm learning to adapt (slowly).

Back when I was working full-time and my twins were toddlers/pre-schoolers/preppies and I was having a nervous breakdown every few months, I used to HATE reading about "work-life balance" and "fitting in" working and motherhood, because everything I read was written by women working part-time.

So I am trying not to bore you with the same opinions and perspectives that used to annoy me.

I will just say, that EVEN with my lovely, precious extra day, life is SHORT and Tuesdays (my day off) are SHORT - and my to-do list is LONG.

There is so little time in the day to do the things we really want to do, isn't there?

For instance, what I really want to do all day is read and write. That's it - I know, I'm horribly unbalanced, but that is what I really love and want to do.

I don't want to clean the house, plan dinners, buy groceries, dust, sort and file administrivia, do laundry or tidy my clothes. I don't want to re-evaluate our super and insurance every 12 months, compare utility providers or switch bank accounts. I don't particularly want to walk the dog. (No surprises there, the dog would grumble if he could talk).

I do love spending time with my kids, and I like feeding them (when they eat what I make), and quite like doing homework or reading with them (when they don't grumble).

So if I do a great job looking after my kids - which I mostly think I do - and I feed them and teach them and listen to them and do their laundry and watch over their emotional state and help them and love them - that is a full-time job, right?

So why do I ALSO have to do all the other house and admin stuff that comes with a grown-up life?

Not fair.


The end.

P.S.: That's not a serious question. Parenthood is a choice and it makes me very happy, blah blah blah. Doesn't mean we can't vent about how hard it all is, every now and then!

Linking up to Picklebums for Real Life Wednesday.  

Everyday Beauty: Small World

When I walk in suburban streets, I am usually looking straight down. There is a fascinating tiny world down there - cracks in the paving, insects scurrying, leaves and seed pods, dandelion tumbleweed, bird feathers, snails, bits of litter.

There's so much in these tiny worlds we loom above and barely see.

Check out these unbelievably spectacular photos from the Nikon Small World Photomicograph Competition, at Slate's Behold photography blog.  I especially love the slab of sedimentary agate; both familiar and alien, it's a stunning reminder of how spectacular is the world in miniature right below us.