Things I Think While Using Public Transport

• Jeez, people are funny looking

• Where do I go for my train? Why can I never remember which platform?

• Man it's crowded.

• Still so many people hanging out "under the clocks", are they still meeting friends there? That's what we did before mobile phones.

• Why does this concourse still always smell of urine? It's open 24 hours, it's floodlit, there are shops and people and police everywhere. When are people pissing?

• Why are there so many cops here, what's going on? Maybe this is one of those terror threat things, should I be worried? Be alert, not alarmed. God, what a joke. Hoodies, backpacks, burqas. If I were a radicalised young Australian where would I take a bomb, here or Chadstone? Surely Chadstone makes more sense and would be easier. God, please let it be Chadstone and not here. Oh my god I can't believe I just thought that, I didn't mean it. What's happening to us, this terror alert crap is corrupting us all. Or maybe just me, I'm a bad person. No, I'm a good person for recognising I might be a bad person. Oh god, not this stupid feedback loop again. The loop - I need to make sure I'm on a Loop train. Does this train go through the Loop? Shit, I didn't pay attention and now I don't know. What station is this?

• OK, do I need to be at the front of the train or the back of the train? I can never remember, I never pay attention. Oh my god, like it matters! What, I have to walk an extra 50 metres when I get out? No, it's about time and efficiency, it feels good to manage this properly and get out just where you need to be. I rarely do that though. 

• Oh right, back of the train. I'll remember that next time.

• Seats, seats, are there any seats? There's one but it's in the middle. There's got to be an edge seat somewhere. Shit, I missed it. Should have taken the middle one. But so uncomfortable. Standing is better. Long time to stand though. I can't find a comfortable way to hold my bag. I should have brought a cross-body bag instead of this handbag with tiny straps I have to hold. It's hurting my back, the drag on my arm downwards. I'm not game to put it on the floor though. Damn, commuting is so much easier for men without handbags.

• Who the hell keeps their bag on a seat next to them when the train is full?

• Ugh, this person, hogging the edge seat. Just move over, would you? So annoying.

• I'm just going to stay on this edge seat, people can step over to get to the middle. It's too squishy in there, my legs don't fit and I get cramps. 

• Man, walking three blocks uphill from the station to my work has killed me! I'm so unfit. What's happened to me, I used to walk everywhere.

• It's nice to sit and read while commuting to work. Much better than driving. Though I do miss listening to Red and then AM on the radio. I could stream it on the phone. But how much data does that use? Funny how radio is no longer going to be free once it's all digital. Analogue radio is free but digital radio isn't, that's quite a change really. Like everything these days, every element unbundled and costed out, let pricing dictate behaviour. Bloody economists. 

• I want to play Candy Crush but it's too embarrassing on the train. Maybe another game. Is Subway Surf embarrassing? I'll just read the news instead. Twitter is ok, I can scroll Twitter. Not Facebook, obviously. Facebook is embarrassing. Why the hell do I care what people think about what I'm doing on my phone? Well that's just how society works, it's human psychology, quite normal.  

• What station is this? Should I call Y for my lift now or is it too early? They don't have enough of those train maps up on the walls, why is that? They used to be everywhere. Oh, I see, the trains now have bigger windows, there's not as much wall space. Hey, remember back when they had poetry on the train walls, was that here or in London? That was nice.

• Oh this poor woman with a pram and crying baby. How awful. Ugh, hope that kid stops crying soon though. Maybe I should try and cheer it up. But what if I fail, that would just be awkward. 

• What stop is this? Oh my god, have I gone past my station? It's so dark out there, I can't see a thing. Where are we? 

• Going in to work on the bus and train is OK, quite nice actually. But man, coming home sucks. Too crowded, and the trip takes too long. I'm exhausted. It saves money though. But shit I'm so tired. Bugger it, tomorrow's Friday, I'm driving.

"Commuting II" by Rebecca Wilson via Flickr Creative Commons