Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
I saw this great quotation via @qikipedia on Twitter this week.
Gosh, I thought, in all my middle-class, first-world exhaustion, That is so true.
There is so little time in life. We know this because we all say it, from the time we either (a) get a serious job, or (b) have children or (c) grow out of our twenties. (Or at least my twenties, pre-HECS, pre-internet, were pretty free and wide open. Not sure if that's still the case for the young 'uns today).
I went back to work when my babies were 8 months old, initially 3 days a week, building up to 5. I worked full-time for the next 4 four years, and just recently cut down to 4 days.
That extra day is a marvel, and I am so, so grateful for it. I don't know how long I can "get away with it", because our finances are not great and you know, life is expensive. Especially when you're used to having the money from 5 days' work in your bank account, but anyway, that's my failing and I'm learning to adapt (slowly).
Back when I was working full-time and my twins were toddlers/pre-schoolers/preppies and I was having a nervous breakdown every few months, I used to HATE reading about "work-life balance" and "fitting in" working and motherhood, because everything I read was written by women working part-time.
So I am trying not to bore you with the same opinions and perspectives that used to annoy me.
I will just say, that EVEN with my lovely, precious extra day, life is SHORT and Tuesdays (my day off) are SHORT - and my to-do list is LONG.
There is so little time in the day to do the things we really want to do, isn't there?
For instance, what I really want to do all day is read and write. That's it - I know, I'm horribly unbalanced, but that is what I really love and want to do.
I don't want to clean the house, plan dinners, buy groceries, dust, sort and file administrivia, do laundry or tidy my clothes. I don't want to re-evaluate our super and insurance every 12 months, compare utility providers or switch bank accounts. I don't particularly want to walk the dog. (No surprises there, the dog would grumble if he could talk).
I do love spending time with my kids, and I like feeding them (when they eat what I make), and quite like doing homework or reading with them (when they don't grumble).
So if I do a great job looking after my kids - which I mostly think I do - and I feed them and teach them and listen to them and do their laundry and watch over their emotional state and help them and love them - that is a full-time job, right?
So why do I ALSO have to do all the other house and admin stuff that comes with a grown-up life?
Not fair.
The end.
P.S.: That's not a serious question. Parenthood is a choice and it makes me very happy, blah blah blah. Doesn't mean we can't vent about how hard it all is, every now and then!
Linking up to Picklebums for Real Life Wednesday.
Vent away! It's tough and I understand where you are coming from. I love my kids dearly, but some days I just feel so unappreciated because there is no pay check attached to what I do.
ReplyDeleteThanks Krystle. It's a bit like that, isn't it?
DeleteI think also because so much of what we do doesn't "show".
Thanks for the support! :)
That quote is so Chekhov! Thanks for sharing it. I really relate to finding the smug advice about finding "balance in your life" annoying. It never helps and it just ends up making me feel MORE inadequate! I really enjoyed reading this post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel. Yep - no balance!
DeleteIt's frickin' hard and I only have *one* child and am currently a freelancer who works from home, yet I feel tired, have an endless 'to do' list that is never finished and the days, weeks and months end with me thinking, "where the hell did the time go?"
ReplyDeleteAm I happy though? Hell yeah!
*hits the Like button*
DeleteYes !
Ah the question I ask myself constantly, I am a SAHM and the trivialities of keeping a house clean, the bills paid and the cupboards full of food are the boring parts so not fair we have to find time in our precious days to do them.
ReplyDeleteIt's constant - that's the downer of it!
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