Fashion Advice

As a mother, finance sector worker and minimally groomed lazy person, I am uniquely unqualified to give advice on fashion. However like most of us I believe I have some expertise in this area, so here goes.

Clothes

• Ignore all that advice to only buy a small number of expensive, well-tailored items of clothing. It's fine in theory but not much fun in practice. And leaves you very little room to express yourself unless you are quite wealthy.

• Do not buy anything asymmetrical, unless you are prepared to toss it after one season. That means no mullet tops, girlfriends. No, they will not "come back".

• Don't bet too heavily on "classic" pieces, as you will not guess correctly and they will still date. More often than the so-called "classic" pieces, it tends to be the unusual, edgy or whimsical stuff you can wear for years. (Um, unless it's asymmetrical).

• Unless you are fairly slim, don't bother with a "classic white shirt." Knitted tops under jackets work better on more body types, and are more comfortable. (Am I alone with shirts pushing bra straps off my shoulders? Am I?!)

• Kaftans are great over bathing suits. I wear mine in the water! (To anyone in my vicinity on the beach: You're welcome).

• I fall for this again and again and I kick myself every time: do not fall for cheap shoes! I have a cupboard and rubbish bin full of broken/worn crappy shoes. What keeps me doing it is that every now and then I pick up something fantastic that lasts and looks great - but not often enough to outweigh all the others.

• Don't be too matchy-matchy. Also avoid the "checkerboard" (top, bottom and shoes in alternating colours). Except if you try it and it looks good of course.

• Other than hems, don't bother getting things altered. It's too expensive for the cost of most clothes, unless you are buying quite expensive clothes. But then if you're buying expensive clothes they are less likely to need altering.

• Dress to suit your body shape but don't over-worry it. Skinny jeans suit no one so if everyone's wearing them then you can too.

• A small number of "don'ts" really are timeless and one of them is this: do not ever fall for fluoro/neon. Ever.

Shoes

• Coloured shoes go with much more than you think. Any pale colours are excellently versatile.

• Embrace the loafer's return, for it is good-looking and so bloody comfortable. (I'm on the hunt for some yellow ones...)

Jewellery

• Big earrings or a necklace, but not both (at least that's my personal phobia for my own self).

Affectation

• Avoid over-complicated scarf-knotting, because everyone knows you worked too hard on it.

• Avoid 1950's and 60's retro and rockabilly because I personally am over it.

• Leave the term "vintage" for real collectors' items. For everything else, please use the terms "second-hand" or "old".

Now, if you want some REAL fashion advice for the real world, try these sites instead:

Fox in Flats
School Gate Style

Styling You

Where the advice on any of these sites conflicts with mine, you should definitely take theirs. Unless you are me, as I will stick with mine.

What about you? Do you have any fashion advice for us?

Linking up with Picklebums for Real Life Wednesday