IT NEVER ENDS

My house is a mess

It causes me stress

But not quite enough

To clean up, I confess.

I try, I do -

I know you do too -

But all I can manage

Is limit the zoo

The Big Book Clean Out

I have always loved books, and I have always owned heaps of them. Until recently, I had four bookcases, each full, plus piles of books on my bedside table, floors and on top of one of the bookcases.  But this year I wanted to de-clutter a little, and I decided there was no sense keeping all of these books.

It wasn't easy to cull, because I had already been culling my books regularly. I only keep the ones I really like, you see - I had already given away a lot of other books over the years.

However, I did it. I got rid of most of the piles, and an entire bookcase. The lounge is a little less cluttered, and I turned my small bookcase into a case of shared books for the kids: classics, new books, books for kids, books for tweens and young adults. They have their own bookcases in their rooms, but this is like an extra library that they can dip into anytime they like.

I replaced some grand old books I'd had lying around, into their rightful place on the bookcases. I even had room for photo albums and a couple of boxes on the bottom shelf of my main bookcase.

Here's a scene from mid-way through the process, while I sorted books to keep from books to give away:

The kids' bookshelf starts to take shape:

At the end of it, I was reduced to 3 single-layer stacked bookcases, and one modest pile on the bedside table.  I filled 4 green bags and a plastic tub with books I know I don't need to keep.

And what did I do with all of those books?

They're still sitting in their tub and green bags in the garage. It's been four months now.

Do you cull books? Is it hard?

I think we're done here

Hard garbage week this week. So we spent a good part of today clearing out EVERYTHING old and broken from our garage.

Our girls are nearly 8. I'm nearly 44 and Y is a few years older. So we figured it's probably about time we got rid of The Baby Things.

Over the years I have actually got rid of a lot of Baby Things. Clothes, sleeping bags, various toys and other small accoutrements have been gradually handed down or given away, in the beginning reluctantly and with sadness, and later, to my surprise, with something more like relief.

It's both sad and wonderful to see your babies grow up. I was so emotional, for so long, at either side of my babies' birth, and for a good three years I parted with nothing. I didn't want my children to stay babies (GOD no) but I could quite happily stand in the garage and press my face to an old sleep suit and pick up just a trace of that glorious, sweet baby scent - one distinct scent for each baby - and it made my heart jump and sing every time.

But eventually those scents faded and went, and our garage piled up with stuff we would never use again, had no one to hand down to, and could not sell. I did always intend to sell our baby stuff, but somehow I never got round to it. I booked a stall once at a baby market - but I was sick and couldn't go. I planned a trip once, to a second-hand baby gear shop - but I was too busy and couldn't go. I decided to donate our twin pram to the Multiples Club we belonged to - but somehow I forgot to do that.

I did give away a lot of things, mindful of how much had been given to us. Clothes were always passed on to my cousin for her daughter, one year younger than ours.  Of our actual baby gear though, little was shed, for one reason or another. Some went to my sister when she had her baby, but by that stage most of our stuff was pretty old and new stuff was so cheap.  By this point, we wouldn't be able to sell anything.

So this year, nearly eight years after our babies were born, the last of it has finally gone.

Well, not yet gone, but sitting on our nature strip awaiting the annual hard garbage collection.

How long did it take you to get rid of The Baby Stuff? Was it difficult?

A Week in My Working and Parenting Life

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Planning With Kids is a great blog and resource for parents with loads of practical advice and things to do. Maxabella Loves is a really well-written blog by a woman who knows what it's like to juggle full-time work and parenting. Last month these two good things came together when The Planning Queen hosted a guest blog by Maxabella called Working and Mumming which detailed a week in her life and "how she does it".

I liked this idea so I thought I should copy it.

As Maxabella says, it takes a lot of organisation and strategic thinking to manage full-time work and parenting, as well as a support network. No one does it alone (or if they do, they deserve some kind of award and government compensation immediately).

So here is a week in our lives - work, school and everything else.

We have twin girls who are in their first year (prep) at school. I work Monday to Friday at an investment bank in the city, and my husband Y. works 4 to 5 days a week (it varies) at a cafe in a suburb 20 minutes drive from home. Y. has Thursdays and Fridays off, and works Sundays and sometimes also Saturday.

Our kids go to the local government school which is a five minute drive from our house.
They do before-school and after-school care on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
On Friday afternoons they go to Greek school, which goes from 5pm to 8.30pm (poor things!)

Y. takes the kids to school or before-school care every day, as I really need to hit the freeway before 7.00am to make my 8.00am start at work.

I drive to work rather than take the train, because where we live doesn't link buses to trains very well so I already have to drive to a train station, and because the commute home takes me an hour and a half using the train so I prefer to drive in 40 minutes and be home that much earlier.
However the cost of driving is high, what with road tolls, petrol and parking, plus the hidden costs such as wear and tear on the car, increased risk of accidents, etc etc. This is one of the reasons I would like to work closer to home next year.

Y. picks up the girls from after-school care on Mondays, and from school on Thursdays and Fridays. I pick them up from after-school care on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

When we get home on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays it is after 6pm. The girls are tired and hungry, and we need dinner to be ready right now (I discussed that here). I'm not big on cooking double and freezing on weekends (tried in the past, not my favourite), so on Sunday I'll cook something for Monday night, and on Monday night after the kids are in bed or while they're having a bath I'll cook something for Tuesday night. On Tuesday I don't usually cook a full meal for Wednesday night but cook some rice or pasta spirals and make sure I have enough bits and pieces in the fridge for a "picnic dinner" on Wednesday, or I do scrambled eggs, baked beans or similar on Wednesdays. Takes the pressure off us all. Currently I have a small number of meals on high rotation and I keep meaning to set aside some planning time in the evening to go through my recipe folder and come up with more, as I know I used to have a much higher number of 'favourites' back when I worked part-time and was a little more into the forward-planning.

On Thursdays and Fridays Y. cooks dinner, usually a barbecue or his current specialty, meatballs slow-cooked in spicy tomato sauce.

Monday through Thursday the evening routine is the same: dinner, homework, bath or shower, bed. While I wish we could let the kids just hang and relax a bit more, we have to do the homework, and they have to get to bed at a reasonable hour to manage school. While their teachers bang on about preppies needing to be in bed by 7pm, there is not one family I know which manages this (even without work), so we do 8.30 and it seems to work.

Each night I do the reading homework with the girls while Y. cleans up the kitchen and gets their beds ready for night-time (he has a special touch creating a cosy, neat bed). While they're in the bath they play a bit and I get their lunches and drink bottles ready for the next day, and do any school notice admin required.

On Fridays they're allowed a lunch order so the kids and I sit together and write up the order on Thursday nights.

On Fridays Y. takes them to Greek school and I pick them up in the evening. Friday nights they are very tired so Saturday morning they sleep in till whenever they want - generally around 9.

On the weekend I try to keep our time unscheduled.

Y. cleans the house on Thursdays and I do laundry a couple of times during the week and approximately one million times on the weekend.

Online supermarket shopping is not super convenient for me as there are always a couple of (essential) items out of stock or you have to plan too far in advance, so I tend to stop at the supermarket on my way home from work one night a week and duck out again on the weekend or take the girls with me (if there is no other way!).

My mother is of loads of help very often - she visits weekends and entertains the girls while I catch up on some housework or duck to the supermarket, steps in when we need help, and babysits on the two or three nights per decade that Y. and I have a night out.

On school holidays, Y. and I take a week each, or if we can't get enough time off, my mother will have the girls. Last school holidays my cousin who works two days a week, had the girls for a day with her and her kids which was wonderful - they got to spend time with their "cousins" and do something different. She wouldn't accept any prepared lunches or the like so I dropped off chocolates and a bottle of wine with the kids.

In terms of reciprocating my mother, she won't accept anything, but we do take turns to pay for coffees and lunches when out with the kids and I try not to ask for her help too often (try - don't always succeed...)

So what are the challenges and the compromises?

• It's hard when kids are sick - we take turns taking sick leave or rely on my mother to help us out, as she has many times
• There's the constant feeling that you're only just managing it, only just keeping up with it all
• The housework definitely suffers. I put most of my time into parenting, "being there" for the kids, chatting, helping, homework etc. Once the kids are in bed and the essentials for the next day are prepared, we don't want to do anything.
• As Maxabella says, you say "no" to weekend stuff a lot. Or more accurately in my case, you don't seek stuff out. There is no way I am doing anything on weekends without my kids, even to "look after myself" - exercise sessions etc are out, much as I would love to sometimes. A friend and I try and get to a movie once a month, but there have been times where I have had to call off, if I've been working late and not seen the kids as much, or one of the kids has been going through a difficult time.
• If there are parts of my life which are not "in balance" it is friends and socialising, and exercise. Honestly you just can't do it all. I am trying to get up early to walk in the mornings, and recently bought a treadmill - which at some stage soon I am definitely going to unpack and get assembled!
• You have to limit extra-curricular activities for the kids too. They need all the down time they can get. As Y. is Greek and it's important to him, the girls started Greek school this year. It's earlier than I would have chosen but they are managing well. But it has meant no swimming lessons since they were young so the girls are not yet able to swim. I'm hoping to talk Y. into alternating Greek and swimming by term... I have vetoed karate, ballet and other suggestions while the kids are doing Greek school. They are doing swimming for one week out of the two these school holidays and loving it - also enjoying the break from Greek school! I'm also grateful for the 'Active After School' program which allows the kids to participate in a team sport or physical activity after school one day a week during term, within the after-school care hours
• When you have people helping you care for your kids, there will always be some little things that are done which would not be your choice. Our kids spent between 2 and 5 days a week in daycare (varying) since they were 8 months old so we got used to this. We never had any problems or real complaints, but there is the odd little thing you're not wild about. This is the pay-off for having help. The flip side is all the benefits and the fact that often the carers will do something great that you would not have done. Plus my kids have beautiful manners which I know came from daycare more than from me, much as I value them.
• Worry - I'm always worrying that the girls are not getting enough sleep, that maybe they need me around more, that maybe I will miss things that are affecting them
• Guilt - I'd love to do school runs more often, help out at school more than the occasional day, and attend every school assembly. I would love to be able to offer my kids the SAHM lifestyle and leisurely afternoons after school that I had. But we are never going to live this life (apart from in small bursts on days off or between jobs) and my kids are happy and thriving, so really what is missing?

And that seems as good a place as any to end.

What about you? Do you work at home, part-time, full-time, self-employed?

Or are you a SAHM busy enough just managing that?

How do you juggle it all?

Spring Cleaning

We spent most of yesterday cleaning. Having walked in the door on Thursday to the realisation that "our house smells", we decided Sunday to tackle it. We wacked in a DVD for the kids and got to it.
We moved furniture, threw out junk, bagged clothes and books for giving away, tidied toys (by far the biggest task), did 6 loads of washing, folded and put away the clothes sitting in laundry baskets these last 4 months (suddenly I have lots of "new" clothes!), vacuumed, mopped, carpet-shampooed, cut flowers for a vase on the dining table, mowed lawns and nature strip, and whipper-snippered the weedy edges of the lawns and flower beds.

And there is still lots more to do.

In the afternoon I took the girls to our favourite park and we spent a happy 2 hours while they learned to climb the climbing frame and ran around like two kids who had been cooped up watching DVDs all day.
Then we went for an ice-cream and picked up a pizza for dinner.

All in all one of the most enjoyable and satisfying Sundays we've had in awhile.